Criminal Minds Imagines

one hundred and ninety eight: jeopardy

"______, i think you need to talk to him about this. something is going on with him," prentiss said as the two of you met up after she and the team arrived back home.

"what?" you asked her gently, crossing your arms.

"he put himself in jeopardy against a kid with a machine gun type," she said as you swallowed thickly. "i think you need to talk to him."

you nodded, seeing him arriving from off the jet as you looked over at him. prentiss looked behind her, seeing him walking over to you with a tired look on his face. you felt sick to your stomach.

"spence, is it true?" you asked him as he cocked his head in a tired confusion. "did you put your life in jeopardy?" you asked softly.

he looked over at prentiss who just nodded before looking down at you and then leaving. he turned his attention back to you.

"_____, sweetheart, it wasn't anything serious," he said gently as you shook your head.

"you put your life on the line! reid, i can't-" you said but you felt tears coming to your eyes as you felt yourself choking up over it all. "i can't lose you."

he nodded, grabbing your hands and holding them in his tightly as he gave you a soft smile.

"hey, hey, look at me," he said gently. "i know, it was a stupid thing to do. it wasn't something that i would normally even do in the first place but i guess the fact that i could relate so much to this kid, it just. it struck me in the same spot where my witness of another kid's death in front of me was. it hurt and i didn't want to see another one die in front of me."

you looked up at him still before letting out a shaky sigh, looking off to the side. you bit your lip gently before letting go and sighing once more while looking towards the ground.

"spence," you muttered as he nodded, continuing to rub his fingers over your hands gently. "what if you had died?"

you looked up at him after he said that.

"i would lose you, your mom would lose you, the team would lose you," you told him as he nodded.

"but owen would've lost himself," he responded, staring into your eyes as you felt tears coming back.

"spence, i don't know if i can do this. you've been acting like this for several months. i don't understand what's going on," you responded.

"are we breaking up?" he asked in a soft spoken voice.

you shook your head, sniffing slightly as he pulled you into his arms and held onto you tightly. you slowly wrapped your arms underneath his as you held him close to you.

"no, spence," you muttered. "but you're hurting me."

"i've never wanted to hurt you," he replied quickly.

"putting your life in jeopardy, going random places at night and not telling me if you're okay, spending hours in the bathroom at home without responding when i ask questions. reid, is there something going on?" you asked.

"i've been going to these meetings," he responded. "i've been addicted to this drug, and, it's been a lot for me to handle. trying to become sober more and more is causing me to act in ways i never thought i would."

the tears seemed to keep existing.

"why haven't you told me any of this? i thought you were cheating on me," you told him as he let go and looked down at you.

"_____, no, no, sweetheart," he told you gently. "i love you so, so much. i would never cheat on you."

"but why wouldn't you tell me about all of this?" you asked. "do you still trust me? do you doubt me?"

he shook his head. "darling, i trust you with everything. you're the only person on this planet, besides my mom, that i trust with anything and everything. it was just a lot for me to handle, ______. you have to understand."

you nodded, looking up at him before slowly wrapping your arms around his neck gently.

"i love you, spence."

he nodded, holding you closely as hotch passed by to hear the final end of the conversation before nodding in understanding.

"i love you too, ______."