Chapter 51

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5 CHAPTERS LEFT!

After my shower, I felt even worse then I did before. My stomach gurgled and my mind was swimming with thoughts about Jaiden.

I put sweats on and went into the living room to see Hadley and Ramin lounging on the couch, "mommy, come sit," Hadley chimed, and I plopped next to Ramin.

"So what's up?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"Hadley, I think it's bedtime," Ramin said.

"But daddy, I'm not tired," he moaned, laying over both our laps.

"We'll go jump ten times and then get off to bed," Ramin said, and jumped up, hopping ten times and then running off to bed, "talk to me, love. What's wrong? I came home and you're in a bad mood,"

"I don't think Jaiden likes me anymore," I mumbled, standing and walking into the bedroom.

"What? No, the boys love you," Ramin said, following me and laying next to me on the bed.

"Hadley loves me, Jaiden just now has something against me. He rolls his eyes, and bosses me around, and the thing that happened with Hadley about sex. It's all my fault," I mumbled, turning away from him.

"Well, I'll have a talk with him," Ramin said, kissing my temple.

***

A week later, and Jaiden had gotten worse. He was ignoring me, and starting to act out at school. Ramin had already had to go down twice this week because he was in the principals office.

"Jaiden, in my room, now," Ramin growled as he pushed him inside the apartment.

"What are you doing home?" I asked, looking up from the couch to see Jaiden hanging his head in shame.

"Jaiden was sent home early because he hit a bunch of kids at lunch," Ramin growled, and I ran over to him before he went to talk to Jaiden.

"Calm down,"

"Sierra, no. I'm not calming down. This kid is out of control and I'm pissed," I held his hands until they un-clenched and I could feel his palms against my fingertips.

"Try not to scream so loud," I whispered, kissing his forehead, "and don't break anything,"

"No promises," he mumbled and stomped through the door, slamming it shut. I couldn't help but ease drop.

"What's is wrong with you all of a sudden?" Ramin screamed.

"What do you mean?" Jaiden asked, his voice timid and small.

"What do I mean? What do I mean?" I sighed, wishing I was in there to calm him down, "ignoring Sierra, bossing both of us around, saying inappropriate comments around Hadley, getting into trouble at school, hitting kids. What's with you?"

"I don't want a new mom!" Jaiden finally screeched out, and my heart dropped to my feet.

"What?" Ramin asked, his voice now small and timid.

"I don't want a new mom!" He screamed again, and I sat on the floor to steady my swaying body, holding back tears. What had I done wrong?

"Why? What did Sierra do?" Ramin asked.

"Sierra didn't do anything. She's amazing, actually, better then mom was."

"Then-"

"Mom was the perfect mom for me. Sierra is perfect for Hadley, and you. And then mom had to go and die right when I was about to start living with her again. I just want my real mom back," Jaiden started to cry, and I didn't stay to hear the rest.

I pushed myself onto my feet, my feet reacting before my mind could process anything. I scribbled down a quick note to the boys, all it said was I'm going out, and then ran out with my coat.

I strolled through Central Park, still holding back tears.

I sat down right in front of the lake where Ramin had proposed. Things were so simple back then, even if they weren't.

Now Jaiden didn't want me as his mother, and pretty much accused me of not loving him as much as I love Hadley and Ramin. Well, that was a complete lie. I don't know where he got that from.

Well, now I have another relationship to fix.

I stood up, ready to face the boys again.

I was practically running home, just wanting to get out of the coldness. I missed the fact that the light was green and ran right into ongoing driving.

Before I could react, I had already hit the windshield of a taxi.

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