BEHIND THE SCENES

chapter 86: life-changing decisions

<OST: eight - IU PROD. & ft. SUGA>

"You weren't the one to make the choice?" Jungkook scoffed. "Come on, I'm not a fool."

"See? I knew you'd react like that."

"I'm only reacting like that because you didn't say a word to me after the audition," Jungkook said coldly. "I was willing to give you a second chance, Kim Taehyung. If only you had given a proper explanation to me, I'd be willing to listen. That's how much I trusted you and treasured you as my friend."

"Would you really, though?" Taehyung probed. "Do you need a reminder about how mad you were after that day? I couldn't even speak to you."

That... was true.

"So what?" Jungkook scowled. "Just because of that, you held in the truth for 7 whole years? Is that it? You really expect me to buy that?"

Taehyung stared blankly at Jungkook. "You don't even know what I hid from you."

Jungkook stared blankly at Taehyung. "Same question - why are you telling me all this all of a sudden?"

"Because..." Taehyung shrugged as he sat up on the couch. "You now have someone you love, and if you had the heart to accept someone into your life again... I thought that maybe, I could stand a chance."

Someone... he loved?

"I've been thinking about telling you this for a long time now," Taehyung said softly. "Ever since the dating news between Jennie and you came out, I have been trying all kinds of ways I could get closer to you. The variety show was one occasion, ISAC was another one, even this dating reality show... I told the PD-nim I'd do it the moment I saw your name on the setlist."

"It was all part of your scheme then."

"I wouldn't call it a scheme," Taehyung said with a small shrug. "After all, the opportunity was given to me - the only part I played was to take it up. But maybe a part of me felt like it was fate - so many years had passed and I wasn't given the opportunity to make it up to you but suddenly, this year, all the chances came of a sudden. It was as if it was a sign that it was time for me to make it up to you and tell you the truth."

"But every time we met, you never said anything."

"Because you never gave me the chance to!" Taehyung exclaimed. "Think about it - that time backstage before Weekly Idol, that time at Namsan, that time at ISAC, this morning at the waiting site, earlier on in the kitchen, even earlier on in the room... have you ever given me a chance to speak? You always avoid me, how have I ever been given the proper opportunity to explain myself?"

Jungkook was silent.

"Finally, you're silent." Taehyung let out a deep sigh. "Now, can I speak?"

Jungkook nodded a little.

"It's kinda funny speaking up about it after such a long time," Taehyung said as he ruffled his hair. "I don't even know where to start."

Jungkook just kept quiet.

"Well... I guess we have to start from when we were preparing for the audition-" Taehyung finally began, after sorting out his thoughts. "I still remember we chose the song three months before the evaluation. You chose 'Replay' by SHINee sunbae-nim, while I was more keen on a more performance-based song - 'Heartbeat' by 2PM sunbae-nim. In the end, I relented but secretly, I still had doubts... which I voiced out to our manager. Jun-ie hyung, you still remember him?"