day 170

18 0 0
                                    

01.7.21
12:18 am

I just read an old paragraph that I was writing to E 2 years ago. And I looked at it and laughed. It's almost embarrassing how I would handle this 2 years ago. It's weird to almost see the growth that I've done I guess you could say.

Today I was on the phone with E's mom cause we talk like that lol. And we were talking about planning a trip for the summer. My family and his. I'd love to go somewhere with them, we're thinking about a cruise. The only pro is that we'll be together like 24/7. The only con will be if he finds some girl on the boat. That'll piss me off.

But it's like I need to move on honestly. And I kind of am because I was only jealous of the girls he talks to for a few minutes then it passed. But it will take time. Time to heal and love on. Time to realize that maybe I deserve better. That maybe I'm giving him up I'll finally find someone who's better. A greater love.

Cause that's what I want. I want a most epic love. A true love that makes my heart hurt in all the right places. That makes me more then just happy. I want something real and something that isn't perfect. Something that is worked for and built from the ground up.

Maybe I'm asking for too much from the wrong person. I want a Simon and Daphne type of love (for all my Bridgerton fans).

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