12.21.20
11:23 am
last night I had another dream with E. In the dream we were on a vacation my family and him and his mom. In the dream me and E were together.
It was a short dream but it's like I don't know why I keep having dreams with him. And all the dreams I have with him in them were together. We're dating and our families are always together.
I think I'd be more then happy if we got together in real life but I genuinely don't know if that's going to happen. I want it to happen so bad, but I just don't this it will.
And that breaks my heart even more. It's like I've wasted time. I've tried dating other guys but I always get bored of them. I always lose interest because I'm focused on keeping E's attention.
Maybe I need to remove myself from our friendship in order to fully lose feelings for him. Maybe that's the only way to truly forget about him. To simply stop being his friend. But I can't do that.
I could never do that because I love him as a person. I don't think I could ever live a life without him in it. But I can either have him in my life as my friend only or keep him out of my life and try to find happiness in someone else.
I don't know what to do honestly.
YOU ARE READING
trying to feel better
Romancethese are all true thoughts and feelings. they belong to me and I've decided to share them with you. in hopes that i will one day feel better. most of these will be about a boy. and the rest will be about me. please be kind.
