day twenty-five

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08.09.20
8:36pm

today I found out my god father passed away. something in me died when I heard the news. I've never had a loved one die and him being the first isn't making it easy. I'm heart broken, but somehow I'm at peace.

the loml (who's name will not be mentioned) comforted me. I like when we get close like this because even though we aren't together, we still love and care for each other. it's weird and maybe toxic, but it works for us.

like a few days ago we were extremely flirty. extremely touchy and extremely happy. it's something so incredible. being in love with your best friend. with one look you know exactly what the other is saying.

it's an incredibly scary feeling as well. he's coming with me on a trip in a few weeks. he doesn't know yet, but I'm excited. it's my family and his family. I'm also very nervous.

my eyes burn from all the crying I've done today. I hope tomorrow I wake up feeling better. I'll always love my god father and I hope that he knew exactly how much I loved him.

rip papá, te extraño tanto...

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