Strange Compatibility

Chapter Thirty-six

Debby

Sobrang nabigla ako at what Mandi said kagabi. It's not that there's something wrong with it, but hearing the 'love' word is so new to me. I've never uttered it to any of my exes before, whenever they say that word I just cower and most of the time break up with them dahil I am not capable of giving it back kasi I don't feel the strong pull. I admit na I have deep idea of what love means pero I have no single clue on how to approach it. Love is something so deep, which I can't just throw out dahil I want to. My parents taught me that it is something so precious that I need to be serious with it, and that I should make sure to feel it before I admit it. Now I'm overthinking again.

  I shrugged off the uneasiness in me and continued on fixing my dress. Today is the day of the engagement party and I know na maraming kaibigan namin from the city and some family ang pupunta. Mandi and her friends are at Lyrie's tita's house pa, which I'm glad kasi I don't want her to notice my weirdness. Maaga pa kami kanina umalis sa bahay kaya hindi ko siya naabutan ng gising.

  I like her, but what she said last night made me think of many things. I don't want her to think din naman na I'm having second thoughts again, kaya It's better na muna na I have enough time to think. I don't want to hurt Mandi pa naman.

  “You fine, Debs?”

  I turn to see Tatiana entered the room. I smile and nod but I know na she can see me through my facade.

  She raised her brow and lumapit sa kinatatayuan ko. “What's up?”

  Letting out a sigh, I asked,“How do you react when someone says the 'L' word to you?”

  “Uhh, I smile? I say it back?” she said as if it's not a big deal.

  “Okay,” I shortly replied, not wanting to know more. I know naman na we are in different situation kaya hindi niya rin siguro ako maiintindihan.

  “Did Mandi say it to you?”

   I shook my head. I want to avoid talking about it now. “Let's just go and see how the party is going.”

  "Later. I know what that face is so come on, spill," Tati said as she took a seat beside me.

  I let out a sigh in defeat. No use of hiding things from my friends talaga kasi they find ways to dig it. "Fine, yeah, M said it to me last night. I was so surprised that I acted weirdly. I'm feeling guilty about it, pero I'm also conflicted kasi when it comes to it. "

  She stopped to think for a bit before she replies, "Well, yeah. You've been telling us since we are kids na love is sacred and that it should be felt. Now, don't you feel it with Mandi ba? "

  I bit my lips and shrug. "That's what's conflicting me right now, Tati. I want to make sure first kasi na what I feel is real. I don't want to tell her I love her and then the next day I take it back. She's so special to me, that's why I want to take it slow and assess it first before I jump into it," I explained.

  My friend shrugged and gave me a nod."Yeah, you can do that. But just don't let the thoughts consume you. Baka kasi you're overthinking it too much. I'm sure Mandi will understand your values, especially because that's been your family's tradition to make sure that the person you love is the only one you'll love for the rest of your life. Not going to judge you, but just don't overthink it too much too, okay? "