Strange Compatibility

Chapter Forty

Debby

Two weeks of no Mandi is killing me. I can't reach her phone and whenever I ask Lyrie and her friends where she is, they all shrug and say na she's always busy. I am still on my wheelchair, which is stupid kasi I can't run and go search for her myself. I'm a little glad my physical therapist is good at helping me get back to my feet or I'll go crazy talaga kapag hindi pa ako gumaling soon.

  Still feeling shitty, I decided to go and scroll through my social media. I almost throw my phone when I saw Mandi posted a pic. It was the first time she did it and it was posted five minutes ago with a caption, “Serenity.”

  “Where in the world is she?” I asked to no one in particular.
 
  Her background was full of nature's best: trees, plants, and such. She's smiling at the picture and it was also the first time I saw her smile fully after that night. Ang ganda niya.

  I suddenly felt afraid. I can't shrug the thought that maybe she's tired of me, that she had enough of me. What if her feelings changed? I bit my lip, harder. Is it even possible to lose a feeling in just a span of weeks? But thinking back of the things I've done, Mandi has enough reason to lose her feelings from me. I've been nothing but a stupid selfish brat sa kanya.

  “Debby! Have you—guessing from your face I think you saw her post.”

  I turn to face Sasha who just entered my room.

  “Hey, what's with that face?” she asked as she sat down on my bed.

  I faced my friend. “I-I don't know why, but I feel bad. A thought suddenly came up to me, what if she had enough of me? What if she's done? I-I can't take it if s-she-ugh! I can't even say it. Damn me!” I scream my frustration out as Sasha stood up to hug me.

  She help me wheel my chair into my balcony, which faces the garden my mom have. “So now what? Do you have any realization?” she asked

  I gulp at her question. I have been thinking a lot lately. I recalled all the past events and I always shudder at some parts of it, especially the at the parts where I messed things up. Big time. “I suck at relationship. I can't believe I let her go noon. Na I've doubted my feelings,” I started, gripping the sides of the chair. “You know? I've always dreamed to have something so perfect. A perfect love like my parents, and almost everyone on my family. I got so picky on choosing who to date long term because I always doubt about them being the one. I thought that by just doing what I think is right, I'd be able to have what my parents have. Because I want what my parents have. A special love, the first and the last love."

  Sasha shrugs. "Well, we all believe in something naman, Debs. But it's still up to us how we approach life with it. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that you shouldn't guard yourself like that. You shouldn't take everything as if any moment now your beliefs will break. We don't let it rule our life, we use it as a guide." She stops and smiles. "Me and Tati gets jealous you know? Your parents have the best love ever. Even when we are still kids. You always tell us that they are the best match because they understand each other, and love each other so much. So why don't you use their love as a guide?"

  I take a moment to embrace what Sasha said. She's right about it all. I've been so obsessed with follow my parents footsteps, always wishing for someone so compatible to me so that I'll have something like what they have. I sigh. "Guess disney wasn't right about having your prince or princess charming. Not all can sweep you off of your feet anoh? Some owns a guitar and sings you a song she wrote about you, who listens to everything you say, pushes you to do things you never know you'll enjoy, and treats you as if you're the most precious person in the world.”