Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

68

[A/N: wtaf we got 20k reads in one single week how the heck is that possible?!?!? enjoy :)]

-Levi-

The plethora of documents I need to complete is exactly what I need right now. It gives me something to do, something other than obsess over the woman who lays on her bed not too far from me wrapped in bandages. Spinning the quill in my right hand, I take a page from each pile sitting in front of me. Usually, it wouldn't be this complicated but since she's not here, I'm stuck doing both.

Kaisa is still breathing, but unconscious. Hange and the other doctors reviewed her immediately once we arrived as she promised but were unable to change her condition. It's been five days since we've brought her back but she has yet to respond to any stimulation. They say her eyes dilate, which is an optimal sign against brain damage.

But I've been sitting at this desk, finishing paperwork in hopes that she won't stress when she does wake up. Erwin already chastised me for the lack of sleep I'm getting even though I lack the understanding of why this suddenly becomes an issue now.

Hange swings by every now and again, checking up on Kaisa, but I've come to notice she's always bringing me tea. She hasn't bothered cheering me up which I'm thankful for; there's nothing to be cheerful about. Instead, the woman sits on a chair nearby, discussing random events throughout her day. Despite the cold nature I hold towards her, I appreciate the gesture, knowing she's doing her best to keep me company.

One of the evenings, Hange asked a particular question.

"Levi, do you love Kaisa?"

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"So, that's a yes?" Her voice isn't as playful as usual.

"What's it to you, Four-Eyes?" I question.

Hange disregards my question, "Have you told her?"

My left hand brushes through my hair in silent frustration while a pen spins in my right. Bouncing my leg, I respond quietly.

"No."

Sighing, I rest back in Kaisa's chair, staring at her body resting in her bed.

"Well, kind of."

Hange squints at me, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Begrudgingly, I confide in the scientist, "Kaisa used to have this thing with her mom; everytime they couldn't say 'I love you', they tapped on each other three times to let the other know. The night before her capture, I squeezed her hand three times. She definitely got the message but, fuck--I am so fucking stupid; I should have just fucking told her."

While burying my head in my hands, Hange places a soft hand on my shoulder. Initially, I jump from the contact, but allow her to console me this time.

"Levi, Kaisa is an empathetic person overall. She's good at grounding herself with empirical knowledge when it's accessible to her, and I'm sure that she acknowledges how big of a step that was for you in the first place."

"Plus," She adds, "Despite the attention she receives from others here, she only seems to stick by you."

I scoff, "Well, that won't matter if she dies."

The hand on my shoulder tenses, which tells me I've alerted her in some way. Maybe Hange's aware that my willingness to communicate any further has been severed. Although the walls in my heart close, I'm thankful for the respect she has of my boundaries.