Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

83

[A/N: A lot of you complained about being robbed from an earlier chapter; I hope this one is some sort of relief]

~Kaisa~

The gear around my waist collides against the concrete floor with an unpleasant, ear-piercing clank. The rest of the scouts have gone home to their families, so the strong front I've put forward finally crumbles as I stand alone in the ODM room. My legs ache, my core feels as if it's been torn from my abdomen because of how much it burns. Levi is currently talking to the other leaders within the Walls regarding the outcome of the operation. He offered to do so when I let him know I'd be delivering Tobio to his father's place for them to move forward with funeral preparations.

It's been over three hours since we've set our feet back home and I have yet to take a breather by myself. Every hallway, every street, and every corner there is someone asking me about how the operation went, if we won, and if we got anything valuable from it. There's criticism everywhere; from parent's throwing rotten food at my feet, to the woman who spat in my direction as I walked past.

I just want to lie in bed and forget everything.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, my feet lightly drag against the ground on the way to my room. I hate to admit it, but the quiet right now is more comforting than distressing. Usually, the quiet nature of the halls emphasizes the ghosts of my comrades. Today, it's peaceful. I can finally breathe; I can finally find the time to let the day go.

The upper-left side of my collarbone aches with every single movement. This is the first time I've given myself a self-inflicted wound to commemorate someone in the Survey Corps. It's the least I could do to honour his sacrifice in battle.

Soon, I find myself between Levi's bedroom and my own. Given that it's been three hours, I can't help but wonder if he's finally returned from the meetings. I give his door our knock, and to my surprise, I hear his voice call for me from within the room.

I let myself in, gently closing the door behind me. On his desk lies a plethora of medical supplies, all of which are being organized in order of when each item should be used. The floorboards creak beneath my steps when I make my way over to him, leaning on the desk once I get to him. I take a soft breath to ask about the meetings, but he interrupts me as if he could read my thoughts.

"Tomorrow. Today, we heal."

I nod. I don't actually feel like talking about meetings, nor do I feel like discussing the semantics the other Corps divisions have most likely brought up.

"Hange?" I ask instead.

"Said she wanted some time. It's not easy for her because of Moblit."

Once again, I nod. The three of us have all lost someone this time.

"I'll help you." I softly state.

Levi doesn't push my help away this time. Instead, he begins to undress his top half, laying the clothes over his chair before sitting on the desk. Happy with how easy it was to get him to comply, I dip a cloth into the water bucket, ringing it out slightly. Looking back to his face, I wrap the cloth around my hand before gently dragging it across his features. The dirt and grime give way quickly, his pale skin clearly visible once more.

He watches me carefully as I clean his face, then neck, and finally his upper body. His skin is covered in scars, both old and new. Today specifically, it's covered in fresh wounds with a deep crimson dried across his body. After the general clean comes the antiseptic. Before doing anything, I walk over to his dresser to pull out a clean rag and give it to him before drenching the gauze with peroxide.

"Put this in your mouth, it'll help." I tell him, stepping between his legs that lazily hang off the desk.

Instead of responding with a smart mouth, Levi listens and places the thin fabric between his teeth. I see his jugular tense in anticipation for the antiseptic, and my heart aches for the pain I'm about to bring upon him.