Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

20

-Kaisa-

Even though my shift was over, I still couldn't find the exhaustion needed in order to fall asleep. I lay in my tent alone since it was one of the privileges of being a squad leader, but a part of me wishes that I'd be able to share a tent with someone else one day. Being alone was a fear of mine, but I did my best to hide that too. I acknowledged my insecurities of loneliness and abandonment years ago when I began my solo journey at the age of six. Although I yearned for acceptance and the chance of being noticed, I could never bring myself to trust someone else completely once I learned a lesson about people and their motivations.

I accept that we live in a cruel world.

This flaw of mine is both helpful yet detrimental simultaneously, but I was internally grateful for the defense mechanisms I set up when I was younger—they really saved my ass when it came to protecting me from shitty people. People are selfish, and it is this selfishness that strips humans from their humanity once they start prioritizing themselves over the wellbeing of others.

I roll over in attempt to squash the overbearing conspiracies and ideas which always made their ways into my stream of thought while I tried to sleep. Of course, this doesn't work and I am more restless than ever now. A groan leaves my lips in frustration and I peek my head outside to face the small campfire flickering in the middle of the field. The crackling sounds it provides is relaxing and calming, but not enough for me to want to stay and watch the flames dance.

If I wasn't going to sleep, I might as well make myself useful and be another look out for our camp. Plus, soaring through the air didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment especially since the evening was so quiet. I pull my head back into my tent and reattach my ODM gear to my belts before exiting the makeshift home, zipping it shut. I know that Levi and Eld are currently on their lookout shifts and their concerns aren't for someone who isn't a titan, so I don't worry too much about how I'm going to sneak out from the camp. I rush off into the woods with a light jog, but something hits my foot and I stop my advances to go back to see what it is.

Turns out, it was nothing exciting. It's just a flare gun that someone must have tossed carelessly while we ate dinner considering it wasn't too far from the camp, but even then, it was still quite the distance from where we were located. I open the barrel to see which flare it is, and it seems to be red. I don't think much of it and instead pick it up, attach it to my belt, and once again head off into the group of trees.

When I'm far enough in, I shoot my gear up into the bark and begin swinging around, letting a giggle escape my lips as I flip in circles, enjoying the breeze. This was the perfect stress reliever for me and every time I did this, I thanked the geniuses who invented this weird contraption to begin with. Although, like usual, just having fun wasn't enough for me. I felt the compulsion to challenge myself—I want to go higher and faster to the point that I'd be invisible to the naked eye.

So, I do just that.

I fly amongst the trees and push my gas as need be while settling on branches to practice landings. It's here that I remember I have the shuriken on me and a smile grows on my face since I'd never actually practiced flying through the air while throwing the blades at a target. Adrenaline rushes through me and I begin throwing the stars at different tree trunks as I pass them, always hitting the point I aimed for. All of Levi's training actually help me figure out how to maneuver in the air better with these blades since I didn't need to twist my body as much. I hated it when he was always right.

I run out of my blades quickly, and head back to the trees I attacked, gathering all of the shuriken before shooting myself up into the sky for a quick second to look over the trees. A smile is on my face and I open my eyes to see the beautiful landscape in front of me.

My stomach drops.

There is an entire herd of titans slowly trudging their ways towards us.

I curse underneath my breath and twist my body in the direction of camp and remember that I picked up a flare from the ground earlier and shoot it into the air in attempt to warn my comrades faster. I zoom past the trees, trying to get back to camp to help pack before the titans came near us. I was slightly confused in the midst of this angst, though. It was clear that they were moving slower, did that insinuate that some titans received energy from sunlight?

Whatever the answer was didn't bother me and my goal was focused on getting back to camp on time. We couldn't stay the rest of the night here, especially if my assumptions of their trajectory were correct. The chilly air pierces my skin, only worrying me further knowing that this could be an issue for the horses if they were sleep deprived. No matter the concern, I find myself back at the campsite where everyone is gathered around the once desolate fire.

"Kaisa, did you send that flare?" Levi seriously asks.

"Yes. We gotta move, immediately." I command. I understand Levi's position, however, this was not a time for two heads to clash about what the next proper moves would be, and I believe that Levi understands my thoughts once I look at him.

"There's a herd of titans coming this way. They'll be here in 10 minutes if my assumptions are correct, and if we don't get the hell out of here, we're going to be some titan desert." I inform the group.

"Grab your shit, pack the carriage and let's get the fuck out of here before we have a problem." I finish.

We immediately rush into action, breaking down everything we built only a couple of hours prior. Tents are disassembled quickly, and the horses are woken up as we prepare to take our leave from the camp. Everyone is in a rush to grab everything that we need that we lose track of time, and it's then that I feel the ground beneath me slightly shake.

"Stop what you're doing, get on your horses and leave! We'll come back for the rest of the stuff tomorrow, but we gotta leave now!" I yell over the group.

"Levi, take them to the castle—you're the only one who knows where it is." I tell him while tossing the empty flare gun to Gunther for him to reload. I head over to the tent pile next to the carriage.

"What do you plan on doing?" Levi asks attaching some flare guns to his body, following me. He knows for a fact that I am aware of where the castle is located.

"They're too close. They're probably moving faster now that they can smell us and it's dangerous for too many people to be clumped together—it probably smells like a full course meal for those bastards." I answer hastily as I shove a tent into the carriage.

"Make sure you think." Levi doesn't disagree with what I've said. He knows I'm right—there are too many people and the only way that everyone is going to make it out of here unscathed is if there's a distraction to pull the titans away from the group.

I give him a wink and open a box filled with flares before grabbing a green one, shoving it into the side of my gear.

"See you on the other side, Captain." I smile at the cold face that Levi always wears and begin a little run, jumping into a front handspring before launching myself amongst the trees towards the titans waiting for me. 

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hi hey hello!

okay, so i'm excited and decided to post 3 chapters today...that's like 5000 words in one day. I think I'm crazy, but at the same time it's whatever.

much love and take care,

~cendiain