Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

28

-Kaisa-

Grace carries me on her back in the direction of our destination, riding just behind Levi on his right side. We're about ten minutes into the 57th expedition of the Survey Corps and so far there haven't been any major casualties reported to the Special Operations Squad or myself. Lots of soldiers assumed that I would know the battle plans for this expedition and they were right to think so but, of course I lied when asked questions. It would defeat the purpose of this entire mission. In fact, no one even knows what to expect, not even Levi or Commander Erwin. This entire expedition was one premised entirely on luck and the most we could do is hope for something interesting or good to come out of it.

More red flares are starting to come from the right side; it always seems like most of the issues start from the right on these expeditions. I don't say anything, it's not my job to play help this expedition. My main focus is to ensure that Eren stays alive regardless of anything that happens, and unless I die, I'm not leaving his side.

"Captain, don't you think those flares are appearing too frequently?" Petra asks Levi.

"Let the other soldiers compensate for those incidences, we have our own mission to complete." He responds.

I can't help but feel that something is not right, something is wrong from the right side and I can't shake the feeling. I have Grace run up closer so that I'm next to Levi and start an exclusive conversation between the two of us.

"Levi, I have an intuition that something isn't right...something is going to happen that we've never experienced or fought before." I inform.

"What do you think is the point of this expedition, idiot?" He sarcastically responds.

"I'm serious." I brush off his cold exterior. "I'm serious too." He glances at me for a second. He notices my discomfort and sighs.

"Listen, I don't know what to tell you, but remember that it's not my job to comfort you." He says.

I lean back into my saddle, nodding my head before slightly pulling back into the formation. The once bright green trees suddenly lose their beauty, vibrant colours become dull, and the air is now incredibly silent. Isolation consumes me, everything is desolate. Not even Grace's movements seem to faze me, I just sit back and let the horse guide me to wherever we're going; not that I cared where we ended up. At the end, we all die anyway, but I guess it's better to do something than nothing. I lean forward, my body feels like lead, I feel paralyzed in my movements.

No one notices. I don't expect them to. I'm a pawn in this unfair game of chess, and this is reality.

I almost laugh to myself when I reflect on the thoughts flooding through my mind. When did I get so fucking dumb? Woe is me...the person I have feelings for doesn't return them! I whine to myself silently.

So-fucking-what?!

I'm the baddest bitch there is on this entire team.

I set the rules to my own game of chess, I earn the checkmates, and I decide who lives and dies when they face me. Electric shocks course throughout my body and my heart is pumping through my chest; I feel like I'm going to explode! A smile spreads across my face as I sit up tall on Grace, holding onto her reigns tighter than before.

After coming down from my own pep talk, I scold myself again for making such a dumb and dramatic scene. Chess? Really? That's the best I could compare myself to? There are so many other options out there to choose from, and I chose chess. Yikes. At this point, my thoughts are so scattered that I can't even figure out which ones will take priority. Eventually, my eyes focus on Humanity's Strongest, admiring his black hair lightly bounce with each gallop. His cape flowing behind him with pride; Levi is the spitting image and definition of humanity's freedom.