Longing to Be Known | Levi Ackerman x OC

78

[A/N: I had some people ask what I listen to when I write. The link above is what I listened to the entire time while writing this chapter; it's on spotify so it's easy to loop. Enjoy <3]

-Kaisa-

"Oh God, they're dead, aren't they?" I softly remark.

"We don't have time to think about that right now." Levi answers before peeking over the side of the crate.

He's absolutely right. Although we don't know what's happening over the wall, it would only stop us from performing our best over on this side. After Levi clears the escape route, he leads the way back to where Erwin is now standing. At this point, we've exhausted all of the soldiers who had some previous experience in the Survey Corps and are now left with the rookies who cower behind their horses. I almost cringe at their weak nature, especially after their bold words at dinner last night; part of me pities their uninformed decision, but I am not sure if Erwin could have been any more clear about the risks of joining the Survey Corps. Once he sees us in the distance, Erwin walks to the side. Levi and I follow him, but my attention is brought to the bickering behind us.

"Hey! One of the horses are getting away!"

"You idiot, you're supposed to make sure that the horses stay here!"

The one soldier retaliates, "Oh give me a break. What's the point?! We're all going to die here—what's the point of protecting these stupid horses if no one is going to be alive to ride them home?!"

His words strike fear in his comrades, and my first response is to walk back and kick some sense into him so that he doesn't completely ruin the spirits of everyone else doing their best. Levi doesn't agree; his hand snaps onto my wrist, giving me a strong tug towards Erwin.

"Leave it." Levi commands.

And as we do, we see Eren resting over the wall in his titan format, unresponsive. As we approach Erwin, the questions spill from my lips.

"What the hell happened to Eren?" I ask, pointing upwards.

"He's been there for a while. I don't know what's going on there." Erwin answers.

Another slew of rocks flies right by us, the screams from the remaining scouts reaching us despite our distance.

I take a quick glance at Levi before bringing my attention back to Erwin, "What's the plan on this side of the wall? All of the soldiers here are too scared to move a muscle, and one of them is spewing shit while crying like a baby."

The commander sits on crates nearby. Solemnly, he looks down.

"Do you see them, too? The faces of our comrades? They're all wondering what their dedicated hearts have contributed to." He softly expresses.

Levi and I remain quiet, listening intently.

"All my life, I just wanted to know what the truth was; I just want to know what's inside of that basement. And now that I am so close, it's just out of reach." Erwin continues.

A part of me wants to slap him across the face for being so selfish, but a part of me reconciles with the fact that he too is trying to heal his inner child like the rest of us. All his life, his sharp eye meticulously followed every small detail in hopes of unraveling the truth of this world. And yet, here we are—facing each other as our biggest hope lies across the top of the wall, unconscious. Here we are, with the air increasingly warming because of the explosion only a couple of kilometers from here. Here we are, three lost soldiers with a group of children nearby who don't even know how to spin their body in the air properly yet.