I need to clear some thing first. All of us know that shua be a trainee before jeonghan but at this story, jisoo is the last member to join seventeen.
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So, to make it a story, i am the last member that joined a boy group named seventeen. I never come to korea alone before and honest saying, im quite scared.
The first time i met my member, i thought they are...crazy. I mean, they are so wild and weird and i start to regret my choice cause im scared with them. I start to think if all asian people like that and that terrified me more. But i stay. Why? Its because of this two guy. Seungchel and jeonghan. I fall in love with them. Seungcheol is so manly, handsome and charimastic while jeonghan is so angelic, handsome and funny. They are a couple before i come and weirdly, i want to be both of their boyfriend. Yes, i didnt want to break their relay, i want to be with them.
I do feel a bit sad when they show their affection to each other cause i want their attention too. Then, i got closer with jeonghan guess its bcs we have a same personality and fan always say we are twin. Ha, twin?! God know how happy i am. As time passed by i got close with seungcheol oh, and other member too :3.
A few months after debut, they confess to me. Yes, you read that right. They CONFESSED. I feel so happy and i remember that i nearly fainted in joy. Thats, how we start our poly relationship.
They treats me well and we're so happy with our relay. Then, carat start the shipping thing which split us to two main ship, jeongcheol and jihan. Some shipper from those two ship me and cheollie too, its cheolsoo. But that didnt stop us from loving each other. It just a ship and we know, what ever happen, it will always us, jihancheol, the three of us.
Until one day.
Its happen back to 2017 when we're at a fansign. Me and jeonghan play a pepero game and our lips accidently touched. Of course its normal for us. Hey, dont make that face to me haha. But jeongcheol shipper hate it. Some of them even gave me a threat latter, told me to stay away from jeonghan and thats my first time i have heavy mental breakdown. They told me that im a parasite in my group, that my singing and dancing skills sucks. But they have a point. I got the least line but im in a vocal team..i also have a weak stamina. By that, i start to avoid all my members. Its hurting me and i start to think what they say are true. I remember i lock myself in my room. I cant face them, what if they think im useless too. I then start to decide wether i should leave this group i called family or not, left korea and fly back to america.
But i stay. Why? Because of seokmin. The poor boy keep come to my room, knocked on my door and ask about my condition. Eventhough he know i'll not open it, he still stay. But then, wheres my boyfriends? Are they hating me now? Are they think im a burden to them? Will they break up with me? That thought running inside my mind for days and weeks.
After weeks, i finally gather back all my broken piece and get out from the room. My members greet me with a genuine smile and hug. Seungcheol and jeonghan? Yes, they hugging me too but im expecting maybe some kisses or stuffs but no. Ugh, what am i expecting? After that, i start to avoid them as much as i could and hangout more with seokmin. By that, seoksoo created and carat never bring up the incident anymore. I also forgive him but..forgetting about it? It take me some time.
Even after i said im okay, i now start avoiding my boyfriend. I just talk to them in gose or whatever shows but not in the real life. Yes, i still love them and avoiding the boys that i love hurt me more but i cant. I feel insecure of myself and its scary. All the fans words affect me badly. I dont want to cry in front of them, i dont want to state my anxious feeling cause im a parasite and i dont want to add any burden to this group.
My members seem like notice my different behaviour. They feel worried for me. So, jihoon give me our song Thanks as a gift. I feel so happy when i know that. Thats why i shone more in that era. Yes we say its for our fans but it also for me. It make me feel a lot more better. It make me feel loved and the feeling that they still want me.
After our comeback weeks, seungcheol and jeonghan approach me. Im at the rooftop at that time, easing my mind. Im shocked to see them, face as cloudy as it can be. Then seumgcheol ask about us so i thought they want to break up. It hurt me so much but i say, its up to them. Then they ask if i still love them so i said yes, i do cause thats the truth. Thats when both of them running to me and hug me tightly while crying. That time i know, they love me more than i think they are. They told me how they miss me so badly. They told me how upset they are when i avoiding them. They told me how jealous they are when i hang out too much with seokmin. They told me they are sorry for not be a good boyfriends. The night is full with us crying, kissing and telling love. Its one of the happiest day in my life. After that day, we stick on each other side. I become the usual me and i feel a lot better.
Thats kid, my love story. Can you share yours?
-hong joshua
Ahhh its different kind of story right? Hehhee
