Surviving As A Cannon Fodder

CHAPTER 38

"Don't go Grandma" Angelica pleaded in a muffled voice.

"I can't do this. I...I...I can't do this without you" Angelica held Maria's hand on her cheek.

"I'm not strong like you"

"You're not strong like me An-An. You're stronger" Maria said with a laugh.

"I have never seen anyone as strong as you"

"..."

"And I was happy being a part of your life"

"..."

"Your grandfather has been searching for me long enough. Now it's my turn to find him"

"..." 

Tears continued to fall from Angelica's eyes. She could feel the inevitable but was unwilling to accept it.

"I love you, my little trouble maker. I don't want your crying face to be the last thing I see"

"I love you too, grandma"

*sniffle* *sniffle* 

Angelica tried to smile in between her cries.

The door flung open and the rest of the family came in. They were all sweating and panting as if they had run all the way here.

Clive, Rosaline, and Lorenz all kneeled beside Angelica with distraught faces.

"You all look worse than me" Maria tried to lighten up the mood. 

She looked at her family who looked like they were about to break down any minute. She felt thankful to them for anchoring her all these years and made her feel alive.

Maria did not have any regrets in her life all thanks to them. They were a part of her in happiness, sadness, and....everything.

"I'm eighty-five years old. Just how long were you planning to hold onto me" 

She laughed thinking about what the future has to hold.

"I feel a bit sleepy.." Maria muttered looking at the ceiling. 

She felt that if she looked at their faces now, she could never let go. She didn't want to hurt them. But being able to move on was a part of being alive.

"Would you all sing for me" she continued, still not daring to look at them.

The four looked at each other, each in various stages of breaking down. They all held their hands together and started singing.

Angelica held onto Maria's right hand with her left. One by one they formed a human chain with the rest of the family.

They were singing the lullaby that Maria liked to sing to them. 

Maria first sang this lullaby to Lorenz when he was a baby, to Rosaline when she was pregnant and had trouble sleeping, and finally to the siblings when they were children. 

Since Maria's usually stern voice always had a calming effect when she sang. It made them let go of any worries and have a peaceful sleep.

Maria closed her eyes at the sound of their synchronized voices. Only her steady breathing was heard as she listened to them.

♫

My little fairy where are you?

I've been searching all over for you,

The sun is up looking bright,

Take a look at the sky.

♫

My little fairy spread your wings,

The sky above you is all your realm,

Go as far as you can,

I will be waiting for you then.

♫

My little fairy can you see,

The sky turned red on the count of three,

Gliding down always free,

Feel the breeze down the tree

♫

My little fairy come here quick,

The moon is at its high on the cliff,

We'll walk beneath the stars till we stop,

Forever we'll be together all along.

♫

The family stopped singing as they realized they could no longer hear the sound of breathing above them. 

Clive hugged his sister trying to give her strength, who was the first to break down into tears. Soon they huddled into a group hug, as each of them needed the other.

On the night the first snow fell, Countess Maria Ashford, the former Commander of the Eagle Knights fell into an eternal sleep under the goddess's grace.