Jane is having trouble grasping her father is gone
A/N: the next four or five posts for Jane will be her working through the stages of grief; this is centered around the loss of a loved one/parent; if this is triggering for you, please do not read; these posts might be shorter than normal
The first week or two after the funeral, all the boys were worried. Jane had barely spoken to anyone or left the dorm. She was constantly on her phone, sometimes just staring at it. She was making phone calls every now and then but whoever she was calling never answered or called back.
Hyungwon found her one morning, sitting on the couch and staring at her phone, leg bouncing up and down. He sighed, sitting next to her. "Who's supposed to be calling?" He asked and Jane sighed. "My dad usually calls around this time. He has to call. Maybe I should call him."
Hyungwon felt his heart break for the girl. Everything was coming together now. She was hoping for her father to call at his normal times and when he didn't, she would call him. Unfortunately, she wasn't going to get an answer or a call back. Hyungwon gently grabbed her phone out of her hands.
"He's not going to be calling, YunJae," he murmured. She shook her head, trying to grab her phone back. "No, he will. He always calls at this time. He'll call. He has to call." Her eyes welled up with tears and Hyungwon sighed again, placing the phone in his pocket so she couldn't grab it.
He wrapped his arms around her as she started crying. "He's going to call. Any minute now. He has too, Hyungwon. He has to call." Hyungwon felt his own eyes burn with tears as he squeezed her tighter. Jane was never one to be cuddly or offer skinship, but these past few weeks she had been letting anyone hold her and comfort her. Hyungwon was just glad that she wasn't completely closing herself off.
However, it was abundantly clear to him that at the moment, Jane was in a state of denial that her father was gone. That he wasn't going to call or message her. That he wasn't going to be at the house if she went there. That he wasn't going to answer her calls to him. He knew this was a process; he just wished he could help her through it quicker.
It didn't matter what was going on in his life right now. All that mattered was making sure that this didn't consume Jane. That she didn't let this eat away at her and stop doing the things she loves. He kissed the top of her head as she balled his shirt up. "He has to call Hyungwon. He has too. I need him too," she sobbed and he sighed again, rocking her back and forth.
"I know, baby, I know. But that won't be today." She let out another sob and Hyungwon was at a loss. He didn't want to play into the denial; he didn't want to give her the false hope even if she knew it was false hope. But god, did he hate hearing her sob like this. It was heart wrenching. "He's not ever going to call! He's never going to answer!" She shouted.
Hyungwon felt relief at that statement. Relief that she was slowly moving her brain to understanding that her father was gone and not painting a false reality. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, YunJae, I'm sorry. I've got you. I've always got you." He said as she cried more. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep. But Hyungwon didn't let her go.
He wasn't going to.
