Ella Karev

Chapter 40

ARIZONA'S POV

I kept ignoring Ella this morning after finding out it was Nick. I couldn't tell her, it hurt too much. She tried to hug me, but I knew if I let her hug me, I would break down. I had to make it through the day. I realized I needed to talk to her and walked in to see Callie and her hugging. It made me upset. I didn't understand why they were hugging. Especially after everything. I walked out, immediately running outside. I was angry at both Nick and Callie. I was confused about why they were hugging. I was hurt. I knew it wasn't good with Nick, and it worried me.

"Arizona," Callie said. I turned around, wiping my tears.

"Why were you hugging my fiancé? After everything?" I cried.

"She's worried about you. She wants to do everything she can to save Nick, but there's nothing we can do. Her heart aches for you," she said. I shook my head, wiping my tears. "Nick didn't mean to hurt you in any way. He came here for a reason, for you," she said.

"If he came here for me, then he wouldn't have waited so long," she said.

"The last scan he has from when it started was 4 months ago. It's fast-moving cancer," Callie explained.

"Callie, I can't. I can't lose him. He's one thing I have left of my brother. I feel my brother around when Nick and I are together. I'm going to lose that too, and I'm not ready," I cried.

"Hey...were right here for you. What can we do to help?" I put my head down, shaking my head.

"I want him to live. I can't...I can't lose him," I cried. Callie took a step closer and tried to wrap her arms around me. I stopped trying to fight a hug as I just cried into my hands. She lifted my chin up, wiping my tears. I saw the look in her eyes and turned my face away.

"Your fiancé is worried about you, talk to her. I was only trying to comfort her. Like I said you girls are family," Callie said. I walked away from Callie, walking back inside, and I stepped into Nick's room.

"Robbins..." Nick croaked.

"Why? Why didn't you come sooner?" I cried.

"I couldn't leave my duty. I didn't know, they didn't tell me," he said.

"I don't buy that," I said. He grasped onto my hand and pulled me in as I sat on the bed, and I hugged him, crying into his chest. "I can't lose you," I said.

"I'm being discharged tomorrow. I'm going to live the last of my life on a beach," he said.

"Nick..." I cried.

"They can't do anything, it's terminal. If they were to open me up, I would have more of a chance of dying than leaving it be. I don't want to die that way," he said. I squinted at him through the tears and held onto him.

"I love you, Nick, I love you so much," I cried.

"I love you too Robbins. No matter what happens, Tim and I will always be right here," he said, kissing my head. He cried into my shoulder, and we just held onto each other as we both fell asleep.

--

I heard the monitors beeping like crazy and looked to see Link and a crash cart. I got down, looking between Nick and Link. I looked back at Nick and saw his lips starting to turn blue. I couldn't breathe. It was only 2 am. What happened?

"Clear," Link yelled. I looked to the monitor and saw no rhythm. This went on for 20 minutes as Link looked towards the other nurses. "Time of death. 2:35 am," Link said, putting his head down. I fell to my knees sobbing. He died right in my arms. He was gone. Tim was gone.

"Nick...." I got up, and I took his hand in mine. "I love you, always and forever. Rest easy. Please give Tim a hug for me..." I cried. I rubbed my thumb on his cheek, and kissed his head, and then sat in the chair at the end of his bed. I couldn't bring myself to leave. I heard the door and saw Callie.

"Arizona. I'm so sorry," she said.

"Please just leave me alone," I said. Callie left, and I stared at the bed, soon falling asleep. I heard the door but rested as I felt a blanket tucked around me. I opened my eyes and saw Ella. "Hey," I said.

"Hey," she said, kissing my head, and leaving the room. I was shocked. She just left...what happened? What did I do? I sat there, thinking, realizing I never went and talked with her about Nick last night...but after knowing he passed while he was sleeping...the way he did...he's no longer in pain anymore.

I stood up, and I kissed Nick's head again and said goodbye. I knew that I had to move on, no matter how much my heart ached. I left his room and then went to the locker room to shower and change into a new pair of scrubs. I stood over the sink and took deep breaths as I felt a piece of me missing.