Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LIX. Do It Again

Conan didn't get a chance to bring up his therapist but he had walked when they were finishing another session online. Heath didn't seem all that worried or felt pushed, so Conan didn't bother. Lim might have not understood what was happening and might have overreacted. Moreover, instead of studying, Heath would end up talking to him. So...

They went bike riding in the afternoon and Conan let him hear his unreleased song on the beach. Heath kissed him right after, saying it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He asked all the back story behind it. 

"I love Ashley so much," he told her and he smiled. "When I first moved to LA, I literally couldn't talk to her properly for a month. It's basically my fear that someday I will lose her."

"Do you feel disconnected?" he asked, turning his head towards him. 

"I don't but online friendship is hard," he admitted. 

"But it's worth it at the end of the day, isn't it?" he pointed out and Conan nodded. Ashley, Ellie, Gus and Caroline were worth everything.

"You go back every month?" he asked though he probably already knew the answer. 

"I try to," he said. There were months he couldn't go and some in which he was so busy that he would get only one or two days. This time he had gotten a month which was a miracle. He would probably go back again in a few weeks. Or they would come to LA since college was over for them too. 

The moment they entered Conan's place, Conan kissed him.

Heath was taken by surprise but didn't seem to mind them kissing. Conan's lips slid across his in synchronization and Heath moaned at the contact. The boy's hands slipped into his hair, threading his curly hair in his fingers. When they kissed, Conan felt like he had molded himself into him and they were a whole. The electricity, the excitement he felt was incomparable to any feeling he had ever felt before. 

"May I?" Conan asked, gesturing to the hem of his shirt. Heath's eyes dilated and he nodded feverishly. Conan's hands went right under his shirt, exploring the plains of his chest, as they continued to kiss. Turned on even more, Conan stroked the back of his spine, running his fingers lightly. Heath laughed breathlessly as his hands creeped under Conan's shirt too. Cone felt like he was combusting as the boy traced patterns along his waist. His hands went further up, gliding along his torso. They smiled a little as Conan removed his hands from his shirt(very reluctantly) and began cupping his neck for better contact. 

They broke away in a while and Heath looked dazed as if he didn't know what had just happened. 

"Jesus," Conan said. His face was still very red and he was smiling lopsidedly.

"What were we doing?" the other said, looking away from Conan. 

"The only question is whether or not you would want to do it again," Conan said, leaning in and taking advantage of his turned head. He gave him a tempting peck, biting the edge of his mouth. Heath took in a deep breath, turning his face so their lips met again. Heath exhaled sharply as Conan bit his lower lip. His mouth moved down, brushing against his neck. 

Conan's phone rung and he put it on silent. It vibrated in his pockets again.

"That ruined the mood," he murmured, dropping the random call from a promotion company and then switching off his phone. 

Heath kissed him again as if to say the mood wasn't ruined. He smiled at him, breaking away and laughed airily. 

"I want to kiss you all the time," Conan said, folding his hands over Heath's shoulders. "Like, literally every time I see you, it takes a lot of effort not to kiss you."

"So much effort wasted," Heath said, leaning in to catch his lips with the other's. "Don't waste your energy resisting something beautiful when it can be spent doing that very thing."

Conan could feel the pull of his hands in his hair. Sometimes, his hands would brush against his neck and he would feel like his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't exactly put a finger on it, what he liked about Heath. There was something about his kindness, sweetness, his endurance and his strength that pulled him in. He loved how he loved passionately, how he would get lost in his own jumble of words while talking about things he was into, how he smiled dorkily and took interest in whatever Conan liked. He could tell it wasn't fake or inculcated because he liked it, it was respect for what he loved doing and what he liked. 

I am in love with him. 

"I think your plants need water," Heath suddenly said, breaking away. "Did you not get someone to water them when you were away?"

"I-" Conan realized how much he had fucked up. He hadn't even bothered to glance at them when he had left his bags. Usually, he would ask the girl who lived next door to do it for him but he had left in such rush, his mind had only been thinking about how he would talk to Heath. 

"You could have told me," he murmured, looking behind him. 

"I forgot." Conan turned, looking at his children that were dying from thirst. Even the soil had cracked and was splitting down where the roots were, in one plant by the window sill. "Fuck, they look terrible."

"I have never gardened but I think have watched my mom," Heath said, his eyes looking oddly luminscent when Conan glanced at him.

"This is gonna take so much of time," Conan said, dragging his nails across his cheeks and thinking of how many plants he had in his house. "Should I order pizza?"

"Whatever you feel like," he shrugged.