Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LXXV. Discussion

"Happy one month anniversary, boyfriend," Conan said and kissed Heath whose head was in his lap. His boyfriend was still half-asleep and just smiled but didn't open his eyes. "Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Your morning breath is terrible," Heath laughed, opening his eyes a little that reflected back the sunlight. In the morning light they looked even brighter than usual, like molten gold. "Happy one month anniversary."

Conan beamed at his boyfriend who was grinning sleepily. He pushed himself up, almost to his level and kissed him. Conan couldn't breathe whenever he touched his lips to his body. Breaking away, he smiled endearingly while the other's insides melted. 

"Hi," he said, his dimple showing. Or maybe his cheekbones were showing more. 

"Hi," Conan said, pecking him on the lips once more. "Will you leave the bed on your feet or do you want me to carry you?"

"I would rather you do this," Heath grinned and pulled Conan down. He let him pull him down swiftly, his chest overlapping Heath's who was kissing him passionately. Conan felt his boyfriend's hands in his hair that he was twirling around his finger, a slight pull every once. He gently pulled him closer and moved away to breathe when he needed to. Conan tucked his hair back when they brushed against Heath's neck or came in between while they made out. 

They broke away finally, Conan lying down next to him, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the room. Heath turned his head at him and smiled uncertainly which made Conan want to kiss him again. 

"I made you breakfast," he said, touching his forehead to his. "Do you want to eat?"

Conan didn't want to force feed him. He hoped he would eat on his own accord if he felt better. He looked he didn't want to answer at all. He should stop pushing him. 

"I don't know," he said sadly, searching his face for a reaction. Lately, Conan had seen him sad and make frowning faces when he was looking at things as if he was having thoughts. Bad ones. Just yesterday, Heath had been staring at his ipad with a pen as if he didn't feel like drawing anything for fifteen minutes. All the small things made him worry and wonder if he was really okay or just pretending. 

"It's okay," Conan said, unsure of whether or not it was actually okay. "I love you. I think you're perfect just the way you are."

Heath looked at him wearily as if weighing the odds and wondering if he should say it back. Conan felt like he had to give him these reminders continuously. He did mean them. Now he was just saying them out loud. 

When he wouldn't say anything, just for the sake of breaking the silence and partly because he wished to, Conan slid his left hand at the back of his knees and the other under his arms. 

"I didn't think you would actually do that," Heath said when he let go of him as he dropped him on the couch. 

"Well, I did and it was easy," Conan smiled at him. "I am assuming you're free today since you didn't give a proper answer the other day."

"I am free," Heath confirmed. 

"Good, Lim wants to hang out with you," Conan said and he could see the surprise on his face. He probably thought it was song release week so he was busy.  

"I-Okay?" he said doubtfully, still looking at him. 

"For someone who has never dated anybody, you look like you're going to propose," Ellie said after Conan showed her the gift he had gotten for his boyfriend. 

"I don't what Heath would say but Conan would say yes any day," Caroline said, not meaning to be encouraging at all. "I mean have you looked at our child? Conan married him the day he saw him."

"I bet he hasn't even had sex with him yet," Gus snorted and Conan regretted telling his friends anything about him and his boyfriend. They were so goddamn nosy but he had to love them. "Have you?"

"Why is my sex life on the table?" Conan asked, a little annoyed which made Gus grin. 

"I agree," Ashley said, nodding sarcastically. "It's their sex life. Heath should be around when we are discussing it."

"Maybe we can discuss it when he is around." Ellie smirked. 

"Conan is flustered now," Caroline smiled. 

Conan had never really thought of doing it with Heath. He was a simple guy who just wanted to hold hands. "I am not doing anything with him tonight, if that's what you wanted to know."

"So you're not getting laid?" Ellie asked, seeking confirmation. Conan shook his head slightly, a cute disclosure. 

"Have you kissed him?" Gus asked though the answer was probably certain. 

"Of course, I have," Conan said annoyedly. "Can we not discuss this?"

"Made out?" 

"Twice," Conan blurted, not knowing why he answered. Damn his friends. "Don't judge."

"I am screen recording," Caroline laughed and Conan breathed in sharply. "We are not judging, Cone. We just wanna know what our innocent bean has been up to."

"Innocent bean?" Gus mimicked, which was the only talent he had in Conan's eyes. "He asked me to fuck a toy monkey."

"Toy monkey sounds innocent," Ashley pitched in, wiping a stain on her shirt. 

"Yeah, but fucking one is clearly not innocent," Gus said, rolling his eyes. "Look, the point is Conan is not innocent at all."

"I never claimed to be," Conan smiled and Ellie gasped. 

"Does that mean-"

"No," Conan cut her off before she could say anything. "I am not doing anything with him. I love him but no. It had blue too." Conan held up the bracelet that he had gotten for Heath. It had engravings in the metallic part. A sound vibration of them saying  'I love you' cut into the metal. "Do you think I should have gotten blue?"

"Aren't you a little too addicted to validation?" Ellie asked. 

"Some people are addicted to alcohol, some to drugs," Conan began. "You should be glad I am only addicted to validation."