Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LXIII. Cat's Eyes

Conan and Heath could be a little annoying to Micah. Not in a bitchy way but more in a 'I am jealous of you' way. No, she was not in love with either of them. Seeing them be all romantic, cute and compliment each all the time made her kinda jealous. When was she going to get someone like that? It was hard to hate them because whenever she was around, they would make sure to include her and not make her the third wheel. 

She would be lying if she said they weren't her OTP. Even though they knew each for a few months, Conan had written a song about wanting him dead, they were still very much in love. Limca couldn't even get past a date after months on crushing someone. Maybe Heath's speculation was correct, she was aromantic. She didn't want to believe she was aro. 

No matter how much Heath promised her friendship and love, he wouldn't understand what it would mean to be aromantic because he was very clearly in love. He could say that love sucked and it hurt a lot or it's overhyped but at the end of the day, wasn't he in love too? He couldn't taste the grapes and tell her they were sour though he enjoyed them. 

 She loved seeing them together but it was a reminder of something she didn't have. Conan and Heath were adorable and all she had was a bunch of boys to fill up the cracks in herself. 

"Ah-Heath-NO!" Conan shouted in the other room. "If you move, I will not be able to paint your eyes."

"Just click a picture," he suggested. 

"Your eyes look better in person and so do you," Conan complimented.

They were so in love that Lim wanted to cry and puke at the same time. Maybe she just hadn't found the right person. Al had started to act like a jerk lately. She should try once more. She should find someone she was attracted to romantically quick. She needed it. 

Carter

Lim: hey carter

Carter: wdy want 

Lim: i want to talk

Carter: we have nothing to talk about 

Lim: I want to clear things up. I made a mistake

He left the text on seen and his profile picture disappeared so Micah assumed he had blocked her again. She laughed bitterly. She had cheated on Carter twice. She wasn't getting love not because she was aromantic but because she was a terrible person who didn't deserve it. 

"Hey, Micah?" Conan's voice rung outside her door. "We are going out? Wanna come?"

"No," she lied. She could use some outside time but she looked like godzilla's child right now, "I will stay in. Have fun at your date."

"It's a date?" Heath said, a little surprised and Lim could feel herself smiling. His innocence could be annoying but right now it sounded cute. 

"If you want it to be," Conan squeaked, laughing to cover up his other emotions. 

"I am okay with it," the other replied slowly and could have sworn they had kissed. 

Micah reached for her phone from under the sheets, her brain groggy and wondering what time it was. When had she fallen asleep, anyways? The phone vibrated again and she reached out, hoping it wasn't her mom. It was. 

"Hey, ma," she said softly. 

"Micah, are you okay?" she asked, her tone very motherly and caring. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, I was asleep," she said, massaging her throbbing forehead, she was seeing multiples, that too in blur. 

"I see," she said, convinced. "Grandma Lim wanted to talk to you. I am handing the phone."

Micah's mom had been adopted by second generation Chinese immigrants at the age of six. Entirely true to her Asian roots and a devoted Christian, Grandma Lim did the bare minimum and expected to be treated like a god. No matter how well she did in her studies or what she did, she would always fall short in Grandma Lim's eyes. Once grandma had stalked her on instagram and saw a picture with Heath which he was tagged in. Heath's instagram had pictures of kissing Julian and grandma scolded her for hanging out with whom she believed to be a sinner. Micah had told her off and her mom had defended her saying, she was old and narrow minded. It was a lame excuse in her opinion. 

"Hello, Micah?" Grandma said. For a woman her age, her speech was very clear. "I always hated that name. I told your dad not to name you that."

Lim cringed. She hadn't even begun talking and she already critiques rolled up her sleeves. What hurt even more was that her dad's mother was called Micah too. 

"Uh, hello Grams," she said and she heard a torrent in Mandarin from her side. She could make out the words, 'alcohol', 'grades', 'irresponsible'. 

"I just wanted to congratulate you, Micah," she said. Funny how much she hated the name but wouldn't call her Lim or Limca. "Another aerospace engineer in the family, unlike your father who wanted to pursue art even though he had a science degree. It's great that you didn't grow up in his company."

"Are you coming for graduation?" she asked, trying to ignore the previous jabs. 

"Of course, I am," she said as if it were something very obvious. "Please tell your mother the details."

"Yeah, I will," she said, ready to hang up. 

"Wait a moment," she said, reading her mind. "Are you-Are you still around that boy? The one with the cat's eyes?"

Grandma Lim had seen Heath once after she told Lim to stop being around him and she never used his name, just 'cat eyed boy', 'the yellow eyed boy'. 

"He has a name," she said, annoyed. "It's Heath."

"Are you still around him?" she insisted. 

"No," she lied, not wanting an argument with a woman who always refused to listen to reason. If she did, she would call it disrespect. 

"My parents came to this country for the sake of modernity and religion, people like him don't understand god's will. I am glad you are getting better at choosing company."

"Yeah, it's so great," she said.