Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LXVII. Stupid Fan

Author's Note: two chapters. no need to thank me

"So, are the rumors true?" the woman said, smiling like a curious cat. 

"Are there any rumors?" Conan said, using his best fake confused tone. She slapped her hand on the desk, something Conan observed she did involuntarily when he would very smartly dodge a question. "I haven't seen any rumors."

"Well, just yesterday a fan posted a picture of you with your supposed boyfriend," she explained though it was well understood by her that he didn't want to answer. 

"I haven't opened my socials in so long," Conan laughed and she nodded, smiling. "I haven't had the time since shooting."

Well, that seemed to distract her because hearing the word shooting made her eyes sparkle. Conan could tell she had forgotten all about the rumors with the way she fiddled with a couple buttons on her radio control system. 

"Can you tell us more about this shooting?"

"No," Conan said, finding it a little too short of an answer, "I mean I really wish I could tell you but it's a secret for now."

"Ah yes, we respect that," she said, nodding vigoursly. "But you still haven't answered."

"Oh I am sorry," he said, blinking. "I keep forgetting things these days."

"Speaking of these days," she said smugly, "There are rumors on twitter and instagram that you have a boyfriend. I will show you the posts."

She popped open some tab on her computer with screenshots of pictures he had seen before. One of him touching his cheek and the other of their Texas park date. 

"Is this true, Conan?"

Fuck. 

"Well, infamous celebs, indie pop today and twelve different magazines say I am gay, so that's flattering, the fact that they think of me so often to decide things for me," Conan said as he sat next to Heath on his bed. Heath seemed to be working on something important on his laptop, a document about textiles or something but he closed it when Conan spoke. "Also, everyone thinks we're dating."

"You can deny it," Heath suggested and for someone who should hit him on saying that, he seemed very okay with it. "The heat will die down."

"You want to be my secret?" he said, questioning his boyfriend's feeling for him. 

"No," he shook his head, "But I don't like seeing you in stress either.  Though you probably shouldn't say that."

"You are so fucking benevolent that I want to hit you," he said. "I am not gonna lie. I will just effortlessly dodge questions for a while."

"How long will you be able to dodge questions for real?" he asked as Conan rested his head on his shoulder. 

"I-Not for long," he admitted. "I am running out of distractions."

"Why do you not want people to know?" he asked as he played with Conan's hair. Conan felt the sweet pull of fingers in his hair and he relaxed. 

"I hate it when they put a spotlight over my face and well people on the internet feel they have an opinion on other people's relationships."

"But they don't right?" Heath said, his voice extremely comforting. "You are right. I don't wanna be your secret. I am not asking you to tell everyone but just don't say I am your friend either."

"I wasn't going to tell anyone you are my friend," Conan clarified. "I would never say that."

They sat in silence, for a moment. Conan assumed Heath was collecting his own thoughts and wondering what to say.

"It sounds a little silly now," Conan spoke suddenly and Heath smiled. "Like, I don't give fuck whether the general public says I am gay or not."

"You do, don't lie," Heath said, softly. It sounded less of an objection when he said things like that. "You care a lot even though you don't show it. Honestly, you have gotten better at it."

"For someone who can't hide emotions, you know it when someone else does. Is it experience from failed attempts?"

"No, it's easy to read you now," Heath said, his hands still in his hair. "It was difficult before but I think I am getting better at it."

"This is why I love you," Conan said, closing his eyes and relaxing into touch. "Yes, I do care. A lot more than I should. I am scared what they will say and all the trolls DMing me."

Heath exhaled lightly, his heartbeat advancing. "You are still lying, Conan. I know it bothers you, everyone saying things but I can tell that's not the reason."

"How?" he asked, taken aback. He had lied because he was too embarrassed to say what it actually was. 

"You closed your eyes because you didn't want to meet mine," he shrugged lightly. "You can tell me."

"I-I think it might end badly, making it public might cause it to end badly," Conan said truthfully. "I don't want this to end badly. Dating someone is the public eye is hard. I know how much hate being put on the stage, for everyone to see. I know you hate being trolled. I know you hate being photographed in the middle of the street. I think that you-you might break up with me because it."

Heath looked moved by whatever he had said, as if he had not been expecting anything. Something melted in his eyes as he spoke again. 

"I don't see myself breaking up with anytime soon. I am sorry but you're stuck with me for a long time. And yes, I don't like being stared at like an animal in some fucking zoo. But, I do love you and I think it will be okay for both of us. I know random people who date someone famous end up being overwhelmed but I think I will be okay, as long as you're here."

Conan turned his head to look at him, his eyes dimming to brown. Heath kissed him on the cheek but he turned his head so their lips could find each other once more. 

"You idiot," Heath grinned, breaking away but Conan pulled him in again. He spoke again, his lips kissing his jaw. Conan could feel his heart fluttering from the contact. "I can't believe you thought I would break up with you over some stupid fan who didn't know their limits."

"You won't, will you?"

"Maybe, I will," Heath laughed lightly. "Draco Malfoy is getting hotter these days."