Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LXXXIII. Flashback

Heath was not staring at the only Asian boy in his school.

He wasn't. He really wasn't. 

He was totally not thinking about the soft texture of his curly hair that he has never touched and never will as long as he lives. He was not wondering how nice it would be to run his hand through it. He was not thinking about his warm and brown angular eyes that squint at the sun time, partly looking like his own. What was the point of staring anyway? He was straight. That's something he was sure of. It's been a while since Conan had been back at school. He had stopped posting on YouTube, he hadn't show up in many classes, he had been a little grouchier than usual. So these secluded moments in the grounds of the school are the only ones he could afford to stare at him.

He was talking with someone. Caroline, his ex that joined their high school at the end of sophmore year. She had been in the all girls convent school when Heath and her went out.  He wondered for a second if Conan liked Caroline. No, he was sure Conan liked the red-head called Alina who sat behind him in English and never bought a freaking pencil or pen and always borrowed from him. 

He sighed out loud when Conan smiled at Alina like she were the prettiest person around. He had never smiled at him like that. He had never even talked to him. He found it a little silly, liking a boy whom he has never had a conversation with. He couldn't help it. Conan Gray was really mesmerising to look at. 

"You're sexual harassment case waiting to happen," said Lucie, sitting down next to him. They had met in Gym class and somehow she believed it was her duty to give him shitty dating advice. "If you like Caroline, just talk to her."

Heath almost scoffed. He doesn't like Caroline. Maybe Lucie didn't quite track his eyes to Conan. Maybe she did but she is just very heteronormative.

"I am not into Caroline," Heath squeaked and Lucie grinned as if him denying it would make it true. 

"Why were you staring at her then?" She nudged him playfully. 

"Staring at whom?" Samuel said, sitting down next to them. He string an arm around Heath that makes him feel awkward. They have talked but they're not that close. They would be close if he hadn't been a fucking prick to everyone. Sometimes Heath wondered if that was the only reason he even talked to him, so he would be friendly.

"He likes Caroline," Lucie said smugly. Oddly enough when Samuel was around she would feel more confident since he would always back her up. 

"I don't," Heath repeated and it came off as a little angry because even Samuel looked dazed. 

"I could talk to her about you. Get your chances up," he smirked, analyzing her like a pervert. So, they didn't know he had dated Caroline once. Good. 

"No," he said hastily, before he could get any stupid ideas, "I don't like her."

"Then whom were you looking at? Gray?" Samuel laughed as if that were the funniest thing ever. Heath internally cringed, hoping the fearful expression would not show on his face. Neither Lucie nor Samuel knew how true that statement was. "If you don't ask her out, Gray will."

"Then let him," he shrugged. "Everyone knows him and Alina have something going on."

"Everyone also knows he too much of sissy to ask her out anyways," Lucie said. 

"Did you listen to the stupid song he posted?" Samuel laughed, taking out his phone. "Gray needs a lesson. Big things don't happen to boys in small towns."

He tapped on a song Heath had heard a million times on his own phone, I Know A Place. 

"Watch," he said getting up and tucking the phone back in his pocket. The music continued to play. Conan didn't see him coming first but then his eyes flickered in his direction which Heath assumed was because of the familiar music. He stared at Samuel, challenging him with his eyes. 

"Nice song, Gray," Samuel said mockingly. "You sound like Dua Lipa."

Conan gave the briefest amount of smile which was quickly replaced by suspicion. His brows knitted, his lips pressed in a thin line, he opened his mouth, probably to thank him. 

"If Dua Lipa was whelping a few pups while she sang. Fucking terrible."

"Fuck off, Samuel," Caroline scoffed, protecting Conan who had started to slide away behind her. 

"You were missing classes to produce this garbage," he continued, ignoring a mad Caroline. "I am really disappointed in you."

Conan didn't even seem to be interested in having a conversation with Samuel, much less fight him. He grabbed his books and hat, not meeting Samuel's eyes once which seemed to drive him over the edge. It looked like Samuel might hit him or at least get him to pay some heed. A teacher walked by and whatever Samuel had in his mind was cancelled and he started smiling like they were talking about some thing friendly. 

Conan adjusted his hat and murmured something that sounded like a goodbye to Caroline who looked like she wanted to stop him. 

"I think we got paired in a project, Conan," Heath gulped. Conan was sitting on his usual desk, hunched over his Biology textbook. He was wearing a red t-shirt and a thin sweater over it which made him look adorable. He glanced at him through the curtain of his soft curly hair and Heath's heart skipped a beat. God, he was cute even when he looked notably annoyed. Conan didn't look pleased that it had turned out to be so. He always looked at him with contempt which made Heath wonder if he had said something wrong before or if he had been a dick to him. He barely even talked to him so there weren't many offensive interactions he could think of. In fact, he was thinking correct, this was the first time he had spoken to him in months. Pursing his lips, Conan answered. 

"Art class, right?" He said it like they didn't sit three seats away from each other in art class. 

"Yeah," he replied, sounding doubtful. He wanted to slap himself. "Do you think we should maybe exchange numbers-"

"Hey," he interrupted and sounded as if he was gonna say something very painful and was letting him down easy, "I think I will do it alone. I barely have enough time to do other things."

"That's okay, I think we will be able to manage," Heath said, hoping he didn't sound desperate. 

"I think I will absent the entire next week. Do you really want a partner who barely shows up at school? "

"But won't dividing the work make it-"

"I am sorry. Please ask Miss Choi for another partner."