Everything I Never Told You ( Conan Gray )

LXII. About Us

"That's not cool, Noah," a girl who knew Heath from CAD class said, her brows knitted. The rest didn't seem to be bothered by it but ecstatic to see more drama. 

Conan's brain calculated that this Noah was a serious pushy and wouldn't let it go. Heath was too nice to tell him off. Even if he would, Noah would probably not let it go. Conan shouldn't overthink it but he was. Should he say something? But what could he possibly say as Heath's...friend? Limca had must have tried too and clearly Noah wasn't letting it go. 

"Come on," Noah said, glancing at the girl who had spoken. "It's not real." His pretty brown eyes moved to Heath when he spoke, "I mean if it gets real, there is no harm in that either."

"Noah," Lim raised her glass and smiled though her tone didn't seem friendly, "If you make my friend uncomfortable one more time, I swear to god I will gouge out those pretty brown eyes and play beer pong with them."

Noah didn't look taken aback at the very least. Instead, it seemed like Lim threatening him provoked him even further. 

"I guess you all don't want to play by the rules," he said and some boy smoked his cigarette at him. "It's okay. But Heath has to take the next dare. No backing out."

Conan clutched Heath's hand tighter who looked like he wanted to die right now. 

"Kiss me, Charles," Noah said, not even worried that he was sounding extremely desperate at the point. 

"No fucking way," Conan blurted. Lim smiled at them brightly. 

"Excuse me, who are you to dictate his life?" Noah countered angrily, sounding like a stand offish child. Everyone had fallen silent and Conan could feel himself get tongue tied because Noah was right. When he didn't say anything, Noah took the chance and spoke again, "It's not even dating me, just one kiss, jeez. Don't grow fucking horns over it."

"I don't think he wants to do it," Conan said meekly and Noah gave him a taunting smile. 

"How would you know?" 

"Because I don't want to," Heath spoke after what seemed a millennia. "Noah, I have turned you down countless times so for fuck's sake, just leave it alone."

He looked at Conan with a small smile over his face, squeezing his hand a little. "Besides, I like someone who isn't you."

That seemed to do it for Noah who looked like an idiot. Or maybe, he made himself look like one and repeated this again. Everyone else seemed satisfied and the bottle spun again, courtsey of the girl beside Micah. 

"You like Conan? Your friend?" Noah laughed bitterly as the bottle spun just like his mind spun out of control. 

"Yes, he does," Micah snapped. 

"But they are friends," Noah sputtered, throwing up his hands. For someone who had drunk at least three cups of beer, he seemed to remember a lot of things. "He is not even his boyfriend."

"My relationship status is none of your business," Heath snapped and it was the angriest Conan had ever seen him. It wasn't even anger, it was annoyance. 

"Fuck you, Conan. I didn't want a femme boy anyways," Noah said and got up. It looked like he might throw the rest of his beer on him but he didn't. He took his remaining dignity, if there was any and left. 

"Thank god, he left," a short girl said. "I am sorry about it, Heath."

"It's okay," Heath assured her. He turned to face Conan. "Can we leave?"

"Of course, we can," Conan said and Lim placed her cup on a side table. "You want to leave too?"

"Hot nerds partying turned into fucking idiots getting pushy," Lim said and Heath smiled. "Of course I am leaving."

"Is that why you never wear your clothes? Because people call you a femme boy as an insult?" Conan asked Heath, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. 

Heath breathed in sharply and Conan glanced at him. Was he being pushy like Noah?

"Maybe," Heath said. "It's not uncommon for gay femme boys to exist but people like Noah say things like femme boys aren't real men and it really-"

He stopped speaking suddenly and Conan turned to see if he was crying or something. He wasn't. He had just stopped speaking. 

"Do feel that way around me too?" Conan asked. "Because I don't think so, Heath."

"You don't make me feel that way," Heath said, propping himself on his shoulder to face Conan who was frowning. "That's why I wear skirts around you. I love that you do the same too."

"We both struggle with masculinity," Conan admitted and Heath kissed him. 

"I like how you notice the smallest of things, Cone," Heath said onto his lips. "I think you look really nice in skirts. No pressure to wear them."

Conan laughed lightly and kissed him back. "I really like you, Heath."

Heath smiled at that and suddenly broke away. "About what Noah said today, about us not being official? Does it bother you?"

"No," Conan spoke truthfully, "It's okay, Heath. We promised to take it slow."

Heath kissed him again and Conan felt like he would melt from the warmness of it. 

"Thank you," he said laying down again. 

"For what?" he asked, unsure of what he was referring to. The kiss or respecting his choice?

"For existing," he answered and Conan could feel himself smiling, satisfied.