Twenty-One

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You wake up the next morning from a nightmare. Another nightmare. Faint memories of Hydra and your father swirling around your head. You can't distinguish any of them as entire memories. They will consume all your thoughts unless you get to complete those memories.

You only remember what you did to your father and his agents, but you clearly don't remember the experiments.

You walk toward the common room, where you see Loki on the couch reading.

"Loki!"

He looks up just as you run towards him. At your distress, he jumps off the couch, discarding his book.

You reach Loki and grab his hands, "Help me."

He instinctively starts checking for wounds.

"Not with anything like that."

He looks back into your eyes.

"Help me remember."

"Remember what?" Loki inquires.

"Everything..." You whisper.

He stares at you a moment longer, "No."

He drops your hands and turns around to leave, but you grab his wrist.

"Why not?!"

He turns to face you, "It will hurt you! I can't even imagine what they did to you!" He admits desperately.

"Please?"

"No."

Loki turns to leave again, but you grab his hand and place his palm against your forehead. You close your eyes as you continue holding onto his hand.

"Please?..." You beg quietly.

"I don't want to hurt you, Y/N." He whispers.

You open your eyes and smile, "You could never hurt me, Loki."

He gives a small smile back.

"If anything, it'll hurt even more if the memories of how I became who I am are just out of my reach..."

"Okay." Loki reluctantly agrees, "I'll give you the memories one by one, slowly. I don't want to overwhelm you. We'll go in order of when you obtained the powers. After that, we'll do the rest of the Hydra memories."

•Flashback•

        Weak, beaten twelve-year-old you is standing in a small metal room. No exits aside from the thick door in front of you.

        Will dad keep his promise that I'll be okay if I go through the door?...

        You take a deep but quite labored breath before opening the door.

        "Y/N, my sweet daughter." Your father's facade of a sickeningly sweet voice comes through the speaker.

        "Y-Yes?..." You stutter.

        "Do you see the scepter at the end of the room?"

        You nod.

        "Go to it." Your father commands.

        You walk toward the scepter. When the scepter shakes, the stone dislodges from it's placement.

        You watch as the glowing rock approaches you. Your curiosity causes you to reach out and gently touch it.

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