DEFENDER [hs]

Chapter 14

We ran alongside a narrow strip of land separating a body of water from inland areas.

The beach.

She looked so happy and joyous without a care in the world. Her flowy white dress swiftly swaying in the air. She bent down and picked up her sunflower hat and placed it on her golden blonde hair. She grinned from ear to ear as she swayed her hips to Miss Independent by Ne-Yo. 

I smirked at her while combing my hair backwards.

She came to me with her hand asking me to dance with her. I chuckled, took her hand and we moved our bodies in a rhythmic way while giggling away. Everything in life felt so perfect. For once I had happiness in my cold stone heart. 

She let go of my hand and began twirling away. I turned back to pick up a camera from the ground. I took pictures of her while smiling from the feeling of love. I took the camera up to her and we took a selfie. She began drifting away in the song. I took a look at the picture we took but only saw myself. She wasn't there. I turned back at her direction and...

She wasn't there. She was gone. 

She left a year ago. She's married now. I wasn't good enough for her.

 She's gone now Harry...

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I woke up with a  sense of dizziness and confusion as I pulled up into reality from the dream world. My breathing was rather heavy and sweat was formed on my forehead. I looked up at the clock and it was 8 in the morning. I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm. I grabbed the clock and canceled the alarm.

I was still very unaware from my surroundings but I could feel someone's body heat from the side of my body. It was Athena. All the memories from last night came through me like a wave. 

She had kissed me. On the lips. 

I looked back down at her and saw her sleeping peacefully. She breathed in through her nose and her hair was a mess. Athena still snuggled into my chest and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to wake her up, she looked to peaceful. I stared at her and thought about what I could do.

She was very cuddly when she slept.

I slowly removed her hand from my waist and grabbed my pillow and tucked it to her to replace my body. She stirred but thankfully didn't wake up. I got up from the bed and grabbed my clothes for a morning shower. I was still in so much shock from yesterday. It has only been two days since I met her too.

I stood under the shower head and my mind kept racing back to the dream I had. I miss her. I miss her a lot. But it's wrong. She's already moved on with life. I have to stop being selfish. I wasn't good enough for her. And I knew that but I only love her and no one else. Her name is Lynnea. Lynnea Gray. 

And I loved her so much. So fucking much. 

It hurt me the day she left. She was upset and I don't blame her. I was stupid and a hopeless romantic. Yes, I am a terrible person and I do illegal things and kill people but she already knew that. Then why did she leave the moment she found out I shot her ex? He used to abuse her and the least she could do was thank me.

Apparently, I was to ignore him because he wasn't my business. But he hurt Lynnea and she deserved nothing but joy. I had to hurt him. To me, it is just easier to shoot a terrible human being then sending them to therapy. I explained that to her but all she said was "Then shoot yourself too."

I applied the shampoo to my head and messaged my sculp, trying to ease my troubled mind. I hate that I'm still thinking about her even though she has moved on and now has a husband.