DEFENDER [hs]

Chapter 21

Harry Styles

By the time we reached Colorado, It was 11:45. Athena fell asleep which sucked even though we hadn't talked ever since we left the art place. I was starting to get drowsy and I wanted her to keep me company but I have sleeping beauty next to me.

The coffee from McDonald's had only helped me for three hours. The tiredness had started creeping up on me. I was debating to stop but I had to reach in two days. On time.

My mind led me back to the hour we spent at the art store. I revealed her name to Athena by accident. I feared when I said it out loud. I feared of what she thought. 

What if Athena judges me like the rest? What if she blames me for my sister's death? 

She has only been gone not too long ago. Only a year ago yet it feels like I'm carrying the guilt ever since I was born. She didn't deserve this, she didn't. I hated how she blamed herself for every thing that happened to me or anyone she loved around her. I hated how just because she's older then me, the responsibility was all her and none of mine.

Even though I'm younger, I'm still the man of the house. I wanted to protect her at all cost. At the end of the day, she's the only family I have. 

Had.

I usually do well with deaths and that sort of thing. But what happened to my sister is unforgiveable. It makes me mad. If I was there on time, I could've saved her. I didn't have to witness her die in my arms. Even if she were to go, it could've been any other way and I wouldn't feel as bad.

Wherever she is up there, I hope she found peace. Cause I haven't. 

I will only find tranquility once I catch and kill whoever who did this to her with my bare hands. I don't care if that costs me jail time or death penalty. At least I can die feeling satisfied. 

This is why I keep Athena safe. The night where she almost got raped made me go insane. I couldn't let that happen to her, too.

I rather trade myself then see her go through that again. She didn't deserve this. My sister too.

I don't know why I feel pressured and triggered. It's like after my sister's death this hole in my heart opened and it's a void of guilt. Not only for her. But every other woman too.

I just wish I could see her again and say our goodbyes properly. She was the closest person to me. My best friend. Yeah, it may seem corny and shit but once you loose someone you entirely love, it wouldn't be a joke anymore and you regret everything. 

Because of her passing, I became who I am. The night they pronounced her dead at the hospital was the night I found no purpose. She was the only guidance I had and without her I am a lost cause. I slept on the streets that night and met up with a few 'people'.

 You know, gang affiliated people. 

I didn't have money to buy shit. Like the things help you escape from the world for awhile? Drugs. 

So, these people were the only ones I could count on. I joined them. I had too. I wouldn't survive in the wild alone without anything. They helped me get an apartment and extra cash. From working? Yea but not your typical nine to five job. 

More like committing crimes. Robbing, murdering, bombing. The classics. 

Our 'gang' was then found Mr. Wilson who took us in. Athena's dad he is and I thank him a lot. But in a year's time, I never want to be involved in this again. I want to be set free.

My thoughts were interrupted by the steering of sleepy Athena. 

"How long did I sleep for?" She asked me and I replied with three hours. "I'm sorry." She said. "It's okay, I was just debating whether too throw my co-pilot outside the car cause she's useless." I said and she rolled her eyes.