DEFENDER [hs]

Chapter 57

Harry Styles

I woke up with brown hair sprawled all over my face. Her scent is so captivating I can lay in these sheets for hours with her. The way her body warms me up from underneath makes me never want to leave.

I'll never get bored of her.

Yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions. I've never opened up about Gemma because of the fear I have of the hate I'll get.

I always believed it was my fault she died and I still do. If I could go back and save her on time, I would.

Gemma was all I had. She was the sister that everyone wished they had. She would share her chocolate with me, braid my hair when I grew it out, teach me spanish, cook me food when mum was out working, walk me to the park whenever I wanted. The perfect sister.

The day she passed was when I witnessed hell on earth. That night for the first time I felt empty and disturbed. She wasn't here anymore.

Who was going to braid my hair?

Within those years of excepting her death and cause of death, I grew a thick shell. I never wanted to experience love or sympathy anymore.

But that all changed when I met Athena. I never would've imagined falling for someone ever. After my ex, I thought all hope was lost of me.

But this girl keeps surprising me all the time. My girl.

I wanted to ask her the big question soon. I wanted us to be more than what we are. I wanted us to buy and live in a house far away from here and leave everything behind. Start fresh, have puppies, have kids maybe?

I wanted her to be my girlfriend.

But, is that what she wanted?

What if she thinks I'm taking it too fast? I mean, I couldn't blame her. Our lives have been going on this constant roller coaster that doesn't seem to stop. All those bumps along the way has caused severe damage to the both of us.

What if she hates me for asking her the question?

Whatever we have now will be ruined. But if I don't ask her soon, when will I ever ask her?

I can't keep running from my feelings and emotions, myself. I wanted these feelings out to remove this built up weight on my shoulder. I wanted to show her the song I wrote, publish it, let the whole world see how much she means to me.

From the day I met her, I knew there was something about her that instantly captivated me.

Maybe it's her smile? Humor. Jokes. Eyes. Lips.

Everything about her captivates me.

Nothing is certain but I know one thing for sure, I love Athena Williams.

Love maybe a really strong word but it's the only way I can word us properly.

I hope she loves me too.

----

"Baby, I want to show you something." I said as I grabbed onto her forearm and tugged her away from the kitchen counter where she was cutting me some strawberries.

Fuck. I even love strawberries now. I swear everything this woman touches, I fall in love with it.

"What is it?" She ask trying to escape from my grip as I gently tugged her towards the stairs.

"Shush, just come up."

She squinted her eyes at me knowing I was up to something and I couldn't help the small grin forming on my lips.