Before They Were Bulletproof // OT7 BTS FF x OC ᵖʳᵒˡᵒᵍᵘᵉ

38. Memories

Saturday

My memory's are distorted. I could've sworn I had the most bone-chilling dream last night, but, as I sat up in a bed that wasn't mine, as I gazed over Jungkooks sleeping form at the end of that bed my fears were confirmed.

It was real.

No it wasn't, block it out.

I stare at Jungkook. His breaths are light, his hair is softly swept to the side. The bow of his upper lip rests just above his perfect pearly white front teeth. I slowly reached out to move a piece of hair that had fallen astray but as I got closer his hand snapped up and caught my wrist tightly in his grip. It hurts.

"Kook" I gasped, shaken by his sudden reaction. He blinked a couple times before realizing and letting go. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He mumbled, abruptly sitting up and running his hands through his hair to push it out of his face.

I held my wrist in my lap and rubbed at where it stung slightly. I didn't even know where to start. What to say. The air between us was thick.

"I thought you were mad at me" I whispered. Out of everything I don't know why this was the first thing to come to mind, but it did.

"It's complicated" Jungkook looked straight ahead at the wooden boards that was the wall.

"Then please explain it to me" I stared at him. He leaned down, elbows rested on his knees, head tilted as he gazed at me.

"Why'd you break your promise?" The words he spoke ached in my chest.

"I..." didn't know how to answer that. It's not like I'd asked for any of this to happen.

"You could've died last night Jia. So much for not being reckless. Did you know Daesung is a drug lord? The job as a hostess I can understand, you needed money, I can live with that, but him, of all the people for you to get involved with-" He pressed. I could feel the anger building in his voice.

"I didn't kno-" I stuttered. But he didn't even wait for me to answer. Each word he spoke was breaking me down, slowly but surely.

"It could've ended much worse than it did. And, If it wasn't for that random Ajushi following you around I wouldn't have even known about any of it." He let out a deep sigh, dropping is face into his hand and scrunching at his temples.

"You're right. This is my fault..." I sat there. Numb. When it all gets shoved at you like that, how can you deny it. There were times when you just can't run and hide. Pretend like everything is fine.

"Jia, That's not what I mean-" Jungkook went wide eyed, his anger vanished. But it was too late. He'd already said it all. I felt small drips hit the back of my hands from where they lay in my lap. Small trembles ran through me, I didn't want to cry but I was.

"Please- Please don't cry" Slowly, he slid closer and lent forward. I just sat there, mind vacant as his arms wrapped around me. So gentle it was as though he was handling fragile goods, as thought I'd break any moment if he wasn't careful enough.

"Who's the Ajushi you mentioned?" I asked. Silence.

"No, Nevermind. It's not important" Kook let out a small sigh. His hand settling atop my head.

"Tell me. Don't sit here and blame me for everything and not even tell me what is going on" My voice still no more than a whisper. More silence.

"Fine. Not long ago, I noticed that old guy from the bbq street stall following you around so I pulled him up and threatened him. I thought he was just a perv but, turned out he was trying to look out for you. He told me he'd saw some other shady guys tailing you and was watching them to make sure you were alright" he took a moment and breathed.