Before They Were Bulletproof // OT7 BTS FF x OC ᵖʳᵒˡᵒᵍᵘᵉ

42. Reckless

Wednesday

Straight after class Jungkook and I had locked ourselves up in the studio together so that we could try and get the song finished. We'd made a lot of headway despite only having worked on it for a day. I stole glances at him when I thought he wouldn't notice, I just couldn't get that image of him out of my head. How could this seemingly innocent and shy Jungkook be the same person I saw fight Daesung off me, or be hauled up in a secret basement honing lethal knife skills.

"Jia? Are you spacing out again?" His voice pulled me back. "No, sorry. What were you saying?" I quickly shook my head but he rolled his eyes, sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"What's wrong?" He questioned. It felt forced like he didn't want to be asking in the first place. But, as his eyes laid heavy on me awaiting a reply I thought it was time I stopped beating around the bush with him.

"Jungkook. Look, I don't know why you're treating me so differently these days, I have no idea what I did but- It hurts. I know you won't tell me, it's complicated or whatever. Sure." Jungkook remains silent as he listens.

I went on "But, it's not like you aren't doing your fair share of reckless things. This whole gang business for starters, not to mention I saw you in the basement-" His eyes went wide at the mention of the underground room.

"What we're you even doing down there? Why can't you just mind your own business?" I could sense the anger in his voice escalating. I tried to interject but it was too late.

"You know what. None of this was EVEN supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to find out about ANY of this" he'd leaned forward, eyes laid heavily on me, his words picking me apart. "You were supposed to go about your daily life living in ignorant bliss. Far, far away from all of this bullshit" Jungkook stopped himself. My lip trembled.

Every word that he yelled at me chipped away a piece of that wall I'd put up. The one I'd used to hold in the rising waters of a creek, but, as the dam cracked and the water started to burst through I fell to pieces.

Why was he so good at tearing me down?

"You have no idea how I feel! You don't think I want the same thing?! But it's too late. It's too late..." I breathed heavily, his wide-eyed gaze held mine. "I already had all of that taken away when I was..."

Tears spilt.

Who was I trying to fool?

I was broken.
But, I don't want to feel this way.
Not anymore.

"Jungkook. Please teach me how to fight too. I want to protect myself" I tried to stay strong but my words left my lips in trembles. I was a mess.

Jungkook broke into a pained look. He let out a ragged breath then in one swift movement snatched me into his arms and held me so tight that I nearly couldn't breathe.

He spoke softly. "Learning how to fight has got to be the most reckless thing you've done yet. Are you crazy?" his arms were so tight around me, all I could do was sob into his chest.

"But... maybe you're right. I tried protecting you by keeping you out of it. That didn't work... I'm sorry. I fucked up" he took a small shaky breath.

"As much as I don't want to do this... I will. For you."

It had been so long since we were this close but it was all too familiar, the light musky scent of his, lulling me further into his hold on me. I felt him push my hair back in long soothing strokes, all my troubles washing away with each touch.

I missed him...

"Sorry. I'm okay now" I said, voice muffled by his jumper. Jungkook slowly let go of my head just enough for me to look up at him.