Issue #33: How to Be a Heartbreaker

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The next day came around. I hadn't slept that night for the most part. I had no idea when the next time I could see a horror movie so I watched as many as the films left in the universal box set as I could have. Morning came around, I was watching Boris Karloff's The Mummy. While I did so, a pleasant surprise took place as Caitlin walked in half asleep, yawning and stretching.

"Let's see what those assholes changed this t-" She said before she fully opened her eyes and saw I was awake.

"Heya, Snowflake." I said with a smirk.

"I-what? Wait, how? Why aren't you still being monitored?" She said walking over to my bed and checking the machines, looking to reattach them to me.

"Not the 'oh my god I'm so happy you're out of a coma' I was expecting."

"Well that's the fucking problem. You just woke up from a coma at some point in the last twenty four hours and you're fucking watching tv like nothing happened! Have they run any tests on your brain patterns or monitored any irregularities with your speech or movement? You could have brain damage or nerve damage or-"

"They didn't do any of that. I'm just waiting for them to get rid of the bomb and I'm good to go. Although, I might need your medical opinion about a concussion again I was slapped in the face when I woke up."

"Nows not the time for jokes asshole!"

"Didn't think you cared so much."

"I don't care I just... I..."

"Usually when you don't wanna get caught in a lie you think of excuses before you say the lie in the first place." I teased. "I've been told that you've come in to make sure I wasn't killed by the morons that are employed here. I'm surprised you've warmed up to me like this but I won't lie it's an honor that the great Caitlin Snow thinks so highly of me."

"...Okay, fine, I won't lie. Sure, that stuff you said about looking up to me and acknowledging my past accomplishments and everything has been living in my head rent free since you said it. Which is why I wanted to make sure you're okay. So I could just say thanks is all. Nothing more. Nothing less. A way to pay you back."

"The way you pay someone back for giving you a compliment is by saving their life? Doesn't seem like a fair trade."

"It does when now your life doesn't mean anything now that I've paid you back."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, you mean as little to me as all the people I killed to stay alive."

"Okay. Let's prove that theory." I said grabbing her by the shirt. I decided to go the Komi way of doing things.

"Hey! Get the fuck off me, asshole!" She said but I mean, I wasn't pulling or anything and she didn't make any gesture to physically fight back and she could honestly beat maskless (Y,N) (L,N) in a fight when I'm as fresh as a daisy and she knows that.

"So I'm going to kiss you, like you've kissed many of victims, and if I really mean nothing to you you'll just suck the heat from my body and leave me a cold husk."

"This is stupid don't-" She began to say as I began to lean forward before I got a serious headache from nowhere. "See! I knew you weren't fine! Sit still while I set you back up!"

Don't even fucking think about it you worthless pile of meat! Your lips touch for even a second and she dies! I'll strangle her and make you watch!

"It wasn't even like that! I don't have any interest in Doctor Snow like that you insecure-"

I LIVE IN YOUR HEAD! I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I KNOW SNOW IS YOUR MEDIOCRE EXCUSE OF A "CELEBRITY CRUSH" IF SHE WAS EVEN FAMOUS ENOUGH TO MERRIT THE TITLE OF CELEBRITY! AND I KNOW THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE RECIPROCATED BY HER YOU MISERABLE INSECT!

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