Issue #36: Liar

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Before Terra showed up I tried to write down as many notes as I could remember from talking to Jane. The first being Id start referring to her mostly as Jane instead of Kay since Jane seems to run things. I also pondered who the actual real person was now. I never even saw Kay and you'd think if it was her body she would be in control. Anyways the notes I gathered were as followed:

• Jane is openly misogynistic towards men (note to self, find a dictionary in this hellhole and see if there's a word for misogyny towards men)

• New personality discovered. Karen. Apparently has form of brainwashing or manipulation powers, glowing eyes like The Ghost except blue.

• Karen seems to have taken a liking to me, already claiming me as her boyfriend.

•Total personalities I now know of: Kay Challis, Crazy Jane, Hammerhead, Lucy Fugues, Karen, Flaming Katy, The Secretary, Black Annis, Other personality to be named that wanted me/forced me to grope her, Other personality with the mullet from her arrival at Belle Reeve, Pretty Polly, Baby Doll. last two I neglected to mention in session . Twelve in total. Five of which met.

• Jane says fuck a lot.

• Hammerhead also says fuck a lot.

• Also hits people a lot.

• My face hurts.

• Coincidentally gained powers from being experimented on. Unknown if insanity and MPD are also related.

• Jane has pretty eyes.

As I finished off that last one the door opened and Terra came through. She gasped when she saw my face.

"What the fuck-"

"Sixty four personalities. All of which hate men. One of which hates me specifically. Power dampener only made it so her super strength didn't break my nose or orbital bones." I explained.

"What's the bitch's-"

"Patient-Doctor confidentiality. Can't tell you. Now please, have a seat." I told Terra. She nodded and sat down in front of me. She looked nervous. I noticed she had purple cloth wrapped around her wrist like a bracelet. Part of my shirt from that night surely. "So, how have you been doing?" I asked. She was silent. She was working up the nerve to say something.

"...Have you ever been lying for so long that you forget what the truth is?" She asked. What's more, is that she said it in "Titans Terra's" voice. "I had been using that voice for so long I forgot that this is what I actually sound like. I forgot that the only reason I started using the voice I talked with mostly was because I thought it made me sound older for... you know who. I didn't realize that until that night. After everything you knew about me, after the fact I tried to kill you, after everything we'd been through you called me beautiful. You called me beautiful. You knew who I was, what I was, what I'd done, how much I hated and you still said that. Ever since that night, for the past week, all I've thought about now is... was that really me? Am I really me? I don't know where Terra starts and Tara Markov ends. Was I always evil? Was I always meant to hate everything? Was it my parents that messed me up? Was it Slade that messed me up? Was it the Titans being nice to me that messed me up? Was I only sure I wasn't capable of love because Beast Boy was the one that showed me it and I hated him?" There was a pause where we just stared at each other. I wasn't playing psychologist anymore. "I'm not gonna say I love you because I don't think I know what love is. But thanks for making me feel like I'm an actual human being."

"...I'm going to be completely honest with you. The Crimson Ghost is still tormenting me." I said. "And it wants me to stay away from you. And it's told me that I shouldn't trust you. You're a pathological liar and manipulator. And whether that's true or not, I do know you can't trust me. You won't be safe around me." Terra was mortified. She seemed terrified with this new information, but she took a deep breath and stared ahead at me.

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