Issue #21: Rock With You

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"I think we're a little underdressed." I told Tara as I looked out at the various suits and dresses at the bar.

"Do these people just not own normal clothes?" Tara asked. "I'm telling you, in this country you either wear a potato sack or a monkey suit. There's no in between."

"How much better would this place be if they were wearing actual monkey suits?"

"What are you, eight?" She asked sounding annoyed I would say something so immature. "...But actually a lot better. Especially after we get wasted." We walked up to the bar and two empty chairs. "Yo! Barkeep!" Tara shouted getting the bartender's attention. She looked over at us.

"два члена. что бы вы ни порекомендовали." I said. Or as said in English: Two drinks. Whatever you'd recommend.

"...You're American, aren't you?" She said. Not going to lie, I felt a slight panic for a second before clearing my throat.

"Tamaranean." I corrected her.

"Basically American. It's like Canada if it was underneath Mexico." Tara added for some reason. "Why'd you guess we were Americans?"

"Vwell you either are tourists who don't know much Russian or you just asked me to find you two dicks, whichever I like and would personally recommend. Which either means you're vreally desperate for some action and thought I'd know vwhich cocks here taste good or you vwanted to find a subtle vway of calling me a slut." The bartender explained and Tara burst out into laughter.

"You fucking dumbass!" She laughed.

"Yeah that makes a lot of sense to why you would know we're not from here." I stated.

"Since you speak English and I don't trust this guy to translate anymore, we've had a long day and need something to drink that'll actually do something and not the shit beer that's in the hotel rooms." Tara said.

"Those beers are horrible on purpose so you spend money buying expensive vodka down here." The bartender explained.

"Vodka?" I repeated. I'd never had any before, all I know is it's supposed to burn like hell and that doesn't sound like a good time.

"Awwww, what's wrong? Little lady can't drink?" Tara asked me in a mocking tone. "Two of your strongest."

"Your funeral." The bartender said before going to pour the shots.

"Seriously, aren't you like fifteen? How do you swear so much and insist on drinking the strongest drinks?" I mocked her.

"Shut the hell up, I'm nineteen."

"Could've fooled me with the whole being three apples tall thing." I said taking a hand and comparing our height, or rather the fact that her forehead only went up to my pecks and I towered over her.

"Ever think maybe you're just freakishly tall?"

"Me and Rick and Komi who are all basically my height, too?"

"Bite me."

"How'd you ever convince the Titans you were a good guy?"

"I was a really good actor." She said before clearing her throat and she started speaking in a peppier voice. "Sup? I'm Terra! Totally nice to meet you, dude! You're those Teen Titans I've heard about! You guys rock! Beast Boy, right? You're so cool!" She said before pretending she was gonna vomit.

"Wow, you actually are a good actor." I complimented her. "How'd you do that with your voice? It's like you went from Wednesday Addams to Gwen Tennyson in two seconds."

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