Issue #47: Roadrunner

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"Okay take this right over here." Vertigo told me.

"I know, I know where I'm going."

"Clearly you don't because you just missed it."

"Because I have to deal with a backseat driver that got his license when they were still using horses and fucking carriages!"

. . .

"And I was made for loving you baby, were you made for loving me!? I can't get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me!?" Livewire and Flit sang at the front of the bus while Flit drove and Copperhead banged his head on the window.

"Can someone shut them the hell up!?" Firefly asked. "Aren't you the fucking crazy girl expert how do we get this one to go away!?"

"Flit is obsessed with 80's if we pull her away from the aux cord and play something from the 2000's or something she'll probably stop." I told them. Secretly I didn't want them to stop. Flit had a pretty good singing voice.

"This isn't even an 80's song! Kiss released this in the 70's!" Vertigo said.

"Second half of 79, it might as well been the 80's!" Livewire said before hitting an imaginary drum kit for the solo. "Leave her alone this is my favorite one so far!"

. . .

"Okay, Grandpa, Grandpa's in town! Let's go grandpa!" Jane said as Vertigo drove incredibly slow to the sound of classical music.

"I'm obeying the law."

"Obeying the- we're fucking super criminals! You're so much of a bad guy we're debating if we can attribute six million deaths to your name or not!" Livewire shouted.

"Could you drive just a little faster?" Cleo asked.

"Just a little faster, c'mon." Jane added.

. . .

"Livewire where are you going? You're going off track!" I told her as Ride the Lightning by Metallica played.

"We're in Tennessee aren't we? I'm making a quick stop at Graceland."

"To do what?" Cleo asked with a raised eyebrow leaning forward.

"Nothing... just gonna piss on Elvis's grave and steal some shit."

"That's it give me the wheel-" I went to take it from her.

"No! Let me go! I may never get the chance again!" She tried to kick me away and she started swerving.

"Someone take the bloody wheel!" Vertigo shouted.

"Weeeeeeeeeee!" Duela said.

. . .

"Die! Die! Die! Duh-Duh-Die! Duh-Duh-Diiiiiie!" I shouted rather than sang as I played Die Die My Darling by The Misfits. Cleo had her arm on the dashboard as she stared dreamily at me. Jane and Duela were currently sleeping in the back.

"You should play the one you sang back in your cell about the dungeon. I like that one."

"I liked the one where you shut the hell up except for reading what's on the map to him!" Firefly called out.

. . .

"Alright so you take the left onto here and-WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Jane grabbed the map out of Livewire's hands to read it for herself while Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill played in the background. She had it completely covering her vision and both hands off the wheel. Everyone panicked while Livewire tried her best to grab the wheel back.

. . .

"When is it my turn?" Copperhead asked.

"You think we're letting you drive? We don't even know how long you've had opposable thumbs." Livewire said.

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