Issue #50.5: The Sun Always Shines On TV

5K 209 93
                                    

6:30 PM

"You can't prepare for magic, it doesn't matter how much time he has if there's magic involved you don't know what he's going to shoot out."

"Okay but he's beaten Enchantress before, right? Why can't he just use whatever he used on her? Or call in one of his magic buddies?"

On a Wednesday

"This isn't Batman and Friends taking him on it's Batman One on One. No help. He only gets prep time. And -KAFF KAFF- what he used on Enchantress would never work on him, they're like polar opposites."

"He still has 2000 years worth of written literature to study him and all of his weaknesssssses."

"He's gotta read like a bajillion chapters before he can even get close to reading about his weaknesses though. Not that he needs to, though, because I'm pretty sure we all know what his main weakness is."

Gotham City, NJ

"What are you guys doing?" (Y,N) asked as he walked onto the bus. Vertigo was reading in the driver seat while Duela, Livewire, Firefly, and Copperhead sat in a circle debating. Meanwhile, Ratcatcher 2 was sleeping in the back. Shocker.

"They're fighting over whether or not Batman can beat Jesus Christ of Nazareth if he had prep time." Vertigo answered.

"Okay so where is Batman going to get a random crucifix to nail Jesus to?"

"He makes one, duh." Duela said. "Prep. Time."

"Jesus Christ." (Y,N) pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah, that's who we're talking about!" Livewire said.

"Everyone shut up!" (Y,N) said. "Jane and I are leaving now. You all know the drill, one of you hijack a police car. Do it as discreetly as possible since the whole point is finding Batman at the party and calmly asking him for assistance. I can't have that if he's busy arresting you. The rest of you keep surveillance at Wayne Manor. If Joker does attack somewhere else, Livewire and Firefly can fly off, the remaining three take the bus. Everyone have fun, and remember if you fuck up we all die tonight and the rest of the world in the next week or so. Have fun." (Y,N) then walks away before any of them have a chance to ask him to run through his plan again. They all stare at the door for a couple seconds before Livewire speaks up again.

"Okay but how does he get the cross there so Jesus doesn't see it? Like does he have a bat cross trap thingy or-"

"We're not still talking about this!" Vertigo slams his book shut which wakes Cleo up. "We have a long night ahead of us. So let's get this all settled now. Livewire will have the easiest time sneaking into a vehicle without being seen as she can transport through radio waves so she should be the one to take the car. As for the five of us. We each take a wing of the manor to watch. Ratcatcher can take her hoard and-"

"Question! Big one!" Duela shot her hand up into the air. "Who died and made you leader, mein feuer?"

"What? Obviously I'm second in command after the boy. The fact I'm not first in command is ludicrous on its own."

"No way am I listening to you, grandpa." Livewire scoffed. "I'm the smarts of this here little group so I thinks I should be top dog now that Freak on a Leash is on a date."

"It's not a date." Cleo chimed in.

"You? The brains? Ha! Good one." Firefly said.

"Go light your dick on fire!"

"If it makes you feel any better you'd probably be the looks of the group."

"What about me? I make these scars work." Duela said posing a bit in her seat. "Both the actual scars and the psychological ones. Mentally sick, physically thicc."

Heaven In Hell (Suicide Squad Girls X Male Reader)Where stories live. Discover now