NCT & WAYV

♥︎Xiaojun♥︎

25.01.2022
Word count: 1008
It's not really a TW but just some lgbtqia+ and gender identity topics that are brought up in this imagine
~

y/n pov

The I knock on the bathroom door made me wipe my tears quickly. "Who is there." I said with a raspy voice.

"Xiaojun, can I come in?" He asked. I had my bathrobe on and checked in the mirror if my eyes weren't too red.

I open the door and Xiaojun walks in. "Are you okay, you've been in here for three hours already."

"Oh I just like taking long showers you know." I shrug. "You're okay right? You can tell me if you're not."

"I'm fine Xiao. Don't worry." I tell him. "Alright, dinners almost ready as well."

I get dressed and dried my hair quickly. I look in the mirror and take a deep breath before walking out.

"Hey y/n." Kun smiles. "Kun, hi. Jun I didn't know you invited the guys over." I look at him.

"Oh right that's what I forgot to do. Yes so the guys are over for dinner." He tells me.

"It's alright. It's great to have you all here again." I greet the other boys as well.

When dinner was ready we all take a seat at the table. It was a little small for eight people but we managed to fit around it.

"Y/n you're looking good tonight, got a new haircut?" YangYang asks. "You noticed? Thanks."

"Dude what are you doing? You don't compliment your friend's girlfriend." Hendery nudged YangYang.

"What she's like a sister to me, everyone knows that I meant it as nothing more than just a friendly compliment to her."

"Who says she doesn't feel uncomfortable with it huh? Or maybe Xiaojun feels uncomfortable with you complimenting her." Hendery said.

"Guys don't fight about it. By the way I think it's normal to give a girl a compliment with nothing more than friendship behind it." WinWin calmed down their fighting.

"Babe are you okay?" Xiaojun noticed something was off. "I'm not hungry anymore. I'm actually tired, I think I'm going to bed early."

I get up and put my plate in the kitchen. "Goodnight everyone." I said. "Goodnight, oh y/n don't forget we were going shopping tomorrow." Ten reminded me.

"Yes of course." I walk upstairs. "You guys made her upset with the fighting." I hear Lucas say. "It's not my fault." YangYang starts.

I stand still for a moment, trying to not let my tears fall. "You're not okay are you?" I hear behind me.

"What do you mean?" I questioned. "You're literally crying in front of me. I can tell them to go home so we can talk."

"No you invited them, have some fun. We'll talk tomorrow." I give Xiaojun a peck on the lips and walk into the bedroom.

~

"Morning sunshine, I made you breakfast." Xiaojun smiles at me when I woke up.

"Don't you need to work?" I questioned. "Nope. I wanted to take the day off so we could have some time for ourselves."

"Thank you." He sits on the edge of the bed and takes me into a hug. "I love you." He whispers into my ear.

"I lo..." he interrupts me. "You don't have to say it, I know that you do. I just felt like you really needed to hear that."

"You're so amazing, what did I do to deserve you?" I questioned. "It should be the other way around babe, what did I do to deserve you!"

I get out of bed and we go to the kitchen where the table was filled with delicious food.

"About yesterday, don't feel forced but you can talk with me whenever you're ready. I'm here for you, I always am." He tells me to break the silence.

"I don't know how to say it, that's the problem. It's so difficult to say these words and in fact I'm not even sure yet, I'm only just discovering it... I don't want to scare you away baby." I tell him.

"You won't. But what is it? I can see it's something that's been affecting you for a while, am I right?" He was worried, holding my hands tightly and looking into my eyes.

"I'm trying to find myself more and more over time, like everyone does every single day right. And I think. It's just that some days I don't feel that feminine and sometimes not masculine either. It changes on how good I feel about it all. I tried to find some information on it and all I can explain it with is that I'm gender fluid, I don't want to be seen as just that woman, girl, lady, I'm more than that."

I once again had tears in my eyes while Xiaojun was looking at me with a big smile. "I'm glad you're trying to find out who you are and I will fully support you. After all you are y/n and I love you for who you are."

"Thank you!" He wipes away my tears and leans in for a sweet kiss. "Don't cry alright."

"I'm not." I joked. "Next time just let me know instead of coping all on your own."

"I will. And baby, if you have questions you can ask me alright." I let him know.

"I will. Oh yes one thing, what pronouns do you want me to use for you?" He asks me.

"I'm fine with any currently. If not I'll let you know." I informed. "Great. So I have a whole day off. If we eat this we could still go do something."

The doorbell suddenly rang. "Oh no, I forgot that I was going shopping with Ten." I remembered. "I can come too, if you two are fine with it."

"More than fine." I kiss the top of his head before going to open the door. "Hey girl! Wait you're not ready yet?"

"Ten, I think there's something y/n needs to tell you." Xiaojun says. "I'm all ears."

~
A/N: so I might or might not have been trying to figure myself out lately and I still haven't fully figured it out yet and I think I just need to educate myself more on gender identity and lgbtqia+ just to figure it all out. But even tho I know my friends are supportive and will support me, it still seems hard to tell them that I'm dealing with all of it and it's sometimes so frustrating yet I just can't form the words to tell them. And I hope you all understand that it takes time for me to figure it out and that that's the reason why I'm so inactive. Please be patient for upcoming imagines.
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