NCT & WAYV

♥︎Jungwoo♥︎

12.03.2022
Word count: 1052
TW: angst/mention of suicide/use of cigarettes
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Y/N pov

I was smoking a last cigarette on my balcony, looking out on the sunset. I look down at my hands and take a deep breath.

"Why are you like this y/n?" I questioned myself.

A knock on my bedroom door sounds and Jungwoo peeped through. "Can I come in?" He asked.

"Of course." He walks through my room onto the balcony. He greets me with a kiss. "Your brother let me in."

"Just don't say a word about him please." I sigh. "He's been annoying me all day."

"Sorry. How are you doing?" He asks me. "Not any different from usual." I faked a smile.

"So still no job? Maybe I could ask my boss if she's looking for another employee?" He suggests.

"No it's alright. I'll find something or not." I shrug. "How can you be so chill about this?"

"Because... you want me the honest reason or the I don't want to worry you so I give it a little twist-reason?"

"Honest please. I don't care how bad it is, I'm here to listen and help." He was so positive about everything.

"I don't see a feature for me." I tell him. "It's alright, we can work on that." Jungwoo tells me.

"No you don't get it Woo. I don't see a feature where I live in. I never planned to live longer than maybe 23-4 maybe 25 with good luck." I explained.

"What? But what about your friends and your family?" He questioned me.

"My friends are never there for me, my family treats me like trash ever since. The only thing keeping me alive right now are you and these cigarettes. Which btw this one's my last."

"Well I can keep you alive for as long as I want then." He tried to cheer us both up.

"No Jungwoo, I don't think you'll need me for that long. At a certain point you'll realise I'm just a bother and you'll distance yourself. No one stays with me and I don't stay here for long."

"No you can't do that." He shook his head. "Jungwoo you have to let me go. I know that you don't want to but you'll have to. And I want you to move on as well."

"I can't do that." He started to tear up. "You have to, just be strong like you always are. Go to your friends and family and have their support and love. Please do it for me, that's all I'm asking." I wipe his tears away.

"But I love you." He hugs me, crying on my shoulder. "Don't say that." I kiss the top of his head. "But I don't want to say goodbye to you. I can't say goodbye to you."

"And neither can I so let's not say goodbye." I shook my head. "So you'll stay with me?" Jungwoo smiles full of hope.

"No. I can't do that Woo." I break the hug and take a last puff of my cigarette. "You should go home now." I tell him.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" I slowly nod my head. "What do you want us to do once you leave us?" He asked.

"Take me to the ocean if you can, a last farewell and then I want everyone to move on." I tell him my wishes.

"I'll try my best... wait no I promise I'll take you there, as your last wish."

Jungwoo wanted to walk out but rushed to me for a last hug. "I can't let you go. I don't care what you say, I just cannot do that, it's wrong."

"It's not wrong, you know that because I said so. Now go please."

~
Jungwoo pov

"Is it bad that I knew it? That I knew that she was going to do it?" I questioned.

"She told you not to do anything even though you wanted." Johnny tells me. "But it's tearing me apart, I knew it and did nothing. I could've gotten help or something."

"Jungwoo you listened to her last wishes and that's what is important." Yuta comforted me.

"Her family didn't even show up today. I feel so sorry for y/n." I sighed. "There's not much we can do about that except giving y/n the farewell she wanted."

We get out of the car all together, taking the urns to the beach.

"So how are you thinking of doing this?" Jaehyun asked. "There's only one way."

I take off my blazer, shoes and socks. I take the urns and slowly walk into the water until it reached my knees.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help more, you deserved a happier ending. I'm going to miss you but as I promised I will have to move on. Just give me some time for that please. I really really loved you and I still do actually."

I opened the urns and carefully emptied it into the water. "Goodbye angel." I tried to stay strong and not cry but I couldn't help myself.

I screamed loudly. "We should go get him." Doyoung says and the guys rush into the water to me.

"It's alright, let it out." Taeil pats my back. "We will miss her too." Mark tells me.

"It hurts so much." I hugged Taeyong. "I know, but that's what you got us for."

"I don't want to go yet. Can we stay at the beach?" I asked. "Of course we could sit at the sand, watching the sunset."

"That's what y/n loved to do. She loved the sun and I think I do too. It gives warmth on days like these."

We all take a seat in the sand quietly watching the sun go down.

"Please tell me I didn't miss it." Haechan ran up to us. "Too late, you've missed every single minute of it. She got what she wanted except for her family, where were you?" I questioned.

"I didn't dare to come. You lost your girlfriend but I lost my sister, it hurts just as much. I don't know if I can say goodbye." Haechan teared up.

"No one knows if they can. She didn't want us to either. Only that we moved on." We hugged each other.

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A/N: this was extremely deep and I didn't intend it to be like that but it's there now and oof where are the tissues
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