The Advice Column V

827

Advice Request
This person had unfriended a person and now want to reach out to that person.

Answered Submission
Hello,

My suggestion to you is to reach out. There's really nothing to lose. You either gain back an old friend or you stay in the same place you are now, so why not give it a shot, right? And you can't truly force someone to be your friend. If he wants to talk to you, he will, and if he doesn't, then he likely won't. You want to be friends again. To do that, you have to be willing to let him make his own decision as well. So go into it with a mindset of "I'd like this to happen, but it might not, and that's okay."

When you message him, take a minute to explain that you've had a period of self-growth over the last few months, and in that time you've been going over some of your past actions. You can tell him that you realized how silly your decision was and that back then you were in a place where you avoided problems rather than communicating them, and you've since been working on bettering your communication skills. You can even tell him that you miss being friends if you feel so inclined. Then you can move into asking him if you two can start talking again. The awkwardness isn't going to just go away, unfortunately. It's likely you both have some unresolved feelings about the situation and your previous friendship that need to be dealt with before you can start over with a clean slate, but that isn't a bad thing. You just have to take it one step at a time. Granted, you have to keep in mind that he is entitled to his feelings and his choice in whether or not he wants to reenter a friendship with you, so let's get to that step first!

I hope this helps, love. You're doing great. Let us know how it goes!

Best,
The Advice Column Team