Advice Request
This person wants to reconnect with their old crush and is unsure how to.
Answered Submission
Hello,
When you like someone, or especially when you start a new relationship, it can be easy to get caught up in the feelings and the newness and forget about the other people in your life. When things calm down, or, in some cases, change for the worse, that is when those other people and older feelings start to pop back up to the forefront of your mind. Part of dating is learning how to balance your time and emotional availability between your partner and the other people in your life. When you neglect your friends for your partner, it breeds resentment and frustration that only grows when you come back when things start going sour in your relationship. It is important to recognize that being in a relationship doesn't put your other relationships on the back burner. If it does, then you need to address it and change the behavior.
Moving forward, I suggest talking to your old crush. They were important to you, and they were someone who cared about you, and even if nothing comes from it for you, it would be a good idea to talk to them. On that note, I don't suggest talking to them from a place of romantic interest right away. Feel it out, read the room, and see how they are feeling about you and your friendship before you worry about anything else. From there, you can figure out what you two need to talk about if they feel open to talking to you. This would be a good time to apologize for ignoring them and to let them talk about anything they feel the need to talk about with you as well.
I hope this helps, love. Message us again anytime!
Best,
The Advice Column Team
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