Advice Request
This person doesn't like that their friend sometimes refers to them by the n-word.
Answered Submission
Hey!
For the first situation, I'll assume your friend is a black person. If this is the case, then it is socially okay for her to say the word, but it doesn't mean she can use it to refer to you, especially if you don't like it. There is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable about it either. I advise you to talk to her about it. Let her know that you don't like being referred to like that and that you want her to stop or find something else. You can even suggest a nickname of yours or help her try out other words if that is something you'd be more comfortable with.
Now, if she's not black and she's using this word, then that brings about another issue as well. I would suggest asking her not to call you that because it makes you uncomfortable, and then, as her friend, telling her that it's not a word she can freely use because it's something that has huge significance in black people's history, it's not a word to throw around whenever you want.
In either case, if she doesn't listen to you, I'd suggest you don't respond to her when she calls you by the n-word and only respond when she calls you by your name or something else. Don't hesitate to be straightforward with her because sometimes that's the only way possible. Ultimately though, love, she's your friend, and she should care about how her words affect you. I know confrontation can be scary and uncomfortable, but I don't think you should be too worried. Just be honest and tell her that you don't like it and leave it at that. Good luck!
Thank you,
The Advice Column Team
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