The Advice Column V

907

Advice Request
This person's best friend is trying to help someone with their crush.

Answered Submission
Hey!

While I understand your best friend’s enthusiasm about helping him with his crush, I also think that there are certain boundaries even a friend shouldn’t cross. I don’t know how close your best friend and her new crush are, but your best friend shouldn’t meddle with his love life or try to play cupid for him. If he’s avoiding the topic, it means he’s uncomfortable with it, and that should instantly mean your best friend backs off from the topic and changes the subject to something else.

If your best friend wants to make a move on him, she can confess. If she doesn’t want to (since he likes someone else), she can simply continue on with one-sided feelings or move on. However, the boy’s feelings are his own. She shouldn’t meddle with them and try to act like she’s helping him by constantly talking about a subject he’s avoiding. If he wanted help, he would ask or take her up on her offer. Since he hasn't, it is safe to say that he doesn't want help in this area of his life, and it is best to let him go about his crush at his own pace.

I hope you can explain to your friend that her behavior could lead to consequences she likely doesn't want if she continues pressing topics he’s avoiding. It could be that he’s avoiding because he’s shy instead of uncomfortable but he’s avoiding, nonetheless. People typically do not want to be around others who make them uncomfortable, so there is potential that he could start avoiding her if he isn't already. It is best that she back off and let him handle his own love life.

Please make sure to maintain a positive environment in your friend group. I hope this helps. Come back again if you need more help!

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team