The Advice Column V

861

Advice Request
This person feels that they are annoying a guy they have a crush on.

Answered Submission
Hey!

Hm, this sounds like a very confusing situation. I’m sure you must feel very conflicted yourself. There are two options here: you back out and move on, or you continue pursuing him.

If you don't want to back out, I suggest you try a gentle pursuit, meaning you continue trying to talk to him, smiling as a greeting or in passing, saying ‘I hope you have a nice day’, or maybe texting him about homework. Such actions seem hard to do with your crush, but it’s a good way of becoming friends. I think you should try to talk or text him more often and start by becoming casual friends before moving towards anything romantic.

If he keeps quiet around you, upsetting as it might feel, don't let that get you too down. Even if you worry you're being "annoying", as long as the other person hasn’t told you to stop, you don’t have to stop. You have no reason to restrict yourself around him. Whether or not he likes you, you have a responsibility to yourself to be true to who you are. I’m not able to judge his feelings for you; I don’t know whether he likes you or not. But I’m sure if he feels annoyed by you, he will simply tell you himself, and then you can try to maintain your distance. But since he hasn’t said anything like that so far, I think you should try to give it a shot. And perhaps he feels a bit awkward in real life, so you can try to text him and ask "Ah, do you remember what the math homework was? I forgot what chapter it was about" or something similar. Make up an excuse to get the conversation going (or take the opportunity if you have genuine questions). And if he ever does anything nice, like even just picking up your pencil for you, just say ‘Thank you’ and smile. Politeness is the easiest way to go; it'll go way farther than trying to overcompensate, especially if you feel awkward. Such gestures would surely make him happy too and perhaps he would like to get close to you as well.

And if it comes down to it, and you find out he doesn't like you like that, you have nothing to feel bad about. You were kind, polite, and most of all, you were yourself. We aren't everyone's cup of tea. There are some people who just don't get along with us. Sometimes people don't like us, and they don't always have a specific reason not to. That's just something we have to accept, and hopefully, someday you can ask him what the deal is.

Good luck! Come back again anytime!

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team