The Advice Column V

889

Advice Request
This person's coworker is coming off strongly to them and they don't know how to reject him.

Answered Submission
Hello,

Pushy suitors can certainly be annoying, especially when they just don't seem to get the hint. Unfortunately for the non-confrontational, with people like this, there is little option other than to be upfront with your feelings (or lack thereof) and reject them head on. It might hurt his feelings or damage his ego, and it might feel a little awkward at work for a bit, but it's the best (and often only) way to get him to back off. While it is kind of you to worry about his feelings, you have an obligation to yourself to worry about your own as well. Even more so in a situation like this.

I suggest waiting for him to make a move again, and when he does, you can calmly state that you're not interested. It can even be as simple as, "Sorry, but I'm not interested," or "I don't date coworkers/friends/whatever," even if it's not necessarily true. He doesn't need to know that. You do not owe him your attention. You do not owe him your feelings. You simply owe him your true thoughts over his feelings. And if you go about it like that, he might go the "Oh, I was just joking" route, which could eliminate a lot of the awkwardness for you. If he does that, then you can just laugh and say something like, "Oh! My bad," and brush it off as "friendly banter." Of course, there is no way to guarantee that will be the route he goes, but it is not uncommon for the type you described. It also doesn't guarantee that it won't be a little awkward afterward (he will still likely have a bruised ego), but it can help mitigate that.

I hope this helps, love. Message us again anytime. Good luck!

Best,
The Advice Column Team