The Advice Column V

878

Advice Request
This person feels that they have lost their friends because they are being annoying and their OCD is also increasing.

Answered Submission
Hey!

It definitely seems like a hard situation to go through but the good thing about all of this is your self-awareness of your mistakes. However, being aware of the wrongs is not enough, you have to make things right as well.

Because you’ve worded it ambiguously, it’s hard to give specific advice but to give a piece of general advice, you should work on your personality and self-control. If your loved one is busy and working hard, give them the space they need. If your loved one is saying something hard for you to believe, for example, ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re so kind’, don’t respond with a ‘I love you more than you love me’ or ‘I’m not kind’, such words make it seem that the other person’s words and feelings have less value than yours. What ruins most relationships is people assuming other people’s feelings and emotions. If you feel unloved, say it and ask them to love you. If you feel like you’re being annoying, identify what you should be working on. Trust their feelings for you. Never assume someone else hates you and thinks you’re annoying all on your own.

Since you’re struggling with friendships as well, I think it’s high time to start working on yourself. A lot of the negativity in ourselves gets built up over time because we consume a lot of negative content. Your goal now is to speak kind things, watch nice things, and do good acts for strangers and family and friends. Surrounding yourself with positivity is great, but another focus should be being positive with yourself. If you make a mistake, don’t blame yourself for it, simply try to do the right thing to make up for it. If you don’t understand something, don’t call yourself stupid, try to learn again from the basics.

To sum it up, you should work on building a positive image of yourself. Trust yourself, love yourself, and be kind to yourself. This will look nice to you and others. If you get the urge to act negativity or say something negative, keep quiet or leave the place temporarily. Return when you feel okay. Your relationship problems could be worked upon if you become aware of your actions and words and control them at the right time.

As for your OCD, I suggest trying therapy. Finding a therapist is a great idea because you can discuss your specific situations with them and they can help you navigate a way through this. Please take care of yourself, too. Try relaxation or mindfulness techniques if you find yourself overwhelmed. These intrusive thoughts are very fleeting thoughts and don’t define you at all, so please don’t get scared of them controlling your actions. You are very much in control of yourself and your intrusive thoughts can’t beat you down, you’re strong and can let them pass by without acting on them. You can manage them. Please trust yourself, try something, and talk to others about this. Your mental health needs attention as well and is just as important.

I hope it gets better for you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out again!

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team