The Advice Column V

852

Advice Request
This person is jealous of their friend's new friend.

Answered Submission
Hey!

There’s genuinely no shame or nothing wrong with feeling that way, it’s common to feel like you’ve lost something (in this case, it’s time) when your friend makes a new friend. It can feel sad when they start prioritizing someone else, don’t blame yourself for those feelings. But it’s true that feeling jealous isn’t so nice, and you can make it better by talking about it to your friend.

Beth has been your friend for years and nothing can replace your bond. If you can tell him that you’ve been missing spending time with him or you want him to prioritize you a little more, please do say that. A good friendship is one in which you can be transparent with each other. You don’t necessarily have to mention the new friend he made and how you’re feeling towards that person. You should focus on your relationship with Beth and not someone else’s. If you think hearing about them spending time makes you even slightly upset, tell Beth you don’t want to hear about it much. Now Beth might feel upset about it or he could understand your feelings, that depends on Beth and his personality. You should be true to your feelings and tell him how you feel. If you want to be closer, just continue giving Beth the time you can when you’re both awake. Your sleep, study, and life schedules are important for your mental and physical health. Prioritize yourself and focus on your body’s needs.

Beth seems like a very important friend to you and you need to realize that no one is going to steal him from you. You’re not overreacting but you need to know everyone is going to meet someone new someday. Some people stay, some people leave. Some friendships just don’t last forever and we can’t expect them to. You’re already giving him the time you can, you just need to be by his side when he needs you and vice versa. Be a good friend, connect more with your interests, play games with him, do study sessions if you’re students, do video calls often, send voice notes if comfortable, send random funny memes/reels/tiktoks to each other. Do things normal friends do.

If he’s friends with someone else, he has every right to be as nice to them as he is to you. You also have important people in life too, whether that’s friends, family, a significant other, or other people. Sometimes, you also prioritize them among other things over Beth. You can’t always be with each other and that’s normal. Both you and Beth live very distinct and busy lives with different people you surround yourselves with.

Even if that new friend is funnier, prettier, more intelligent, or better than you in every aspect, that does not decrease your worth as a person and as a friend at all. Please don’t compare yourself to anyone else, you don’t deserve that. Stay true to yourself because only you can be the best version of yourself. Besides, if you weren’t a good friend, Beth wouldn’t have stayed with you for six years. So reassure yourself and speak to Beth about how you’ve been feeling about your friendship with him recently. I’m sure he has no idea what you’re feeling and will listen to you with an open heart.

Have a good conversation and connect well. I wish you good luck!

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team