Advice Request
This person is struggling to feel comfortable around a friend after a past issue caused them to drift apart. They want to repair the friendship but are unsure how to.
Advice Submitted
Hello,
In my honest opinion, I think the only way you can really work towards fixing your friendship is by being completely honest with each other. If you are holding back your personality around her, you can't expect to be comfortable enough to mend the issue. By holding back, you are automatically uncomfortable, and so the awkwardness will persist. Same with her. If she is holding herself back or keeping things to herself around you, she isn't going to be able to put in the emotional work needed to fix your relationship. You both have walls up that need to come down if you want to change things. Talk to her. Be open and honest about what's been bothering you, and give her room to speak into the conversation as well. If the two of you can't be honest with each other, then you can't honestly expect to fix or grow your friendship.
Relationships change. People change. Sometimes, you have to adapt to the changes around you and part of that is understanding that fixing a relationship doesn't necessarily mean making it the same way it was before. Usually, it means making it into something beneficial to both of you as you both have changed. Change isn't always a bad thing. So, talk to each other. Be honest with each other. Figure out what needs to change in your relationship to reflect and conform to the changes you both have made as people in the last year.
I hope this helps, love. Message us again anytime!
Best,
The Advice Column Team
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