Advice Request
This person's friend said they don't want to be their friend anymore.
Answered Submission
Hey!
Happy New Year to you as well, sweetheart! Let’s dive into the advice. I first want you to realize that any emotion you feel is valid. Whether it’s numbness, dismissal, sadness, or intense anger. Emotions are controllable but what you feel ultimately isn’t what determines who you are as a person; your actions do. Don’t feel bad for feeling the way you do, but work on channeling those emotions through writing or art.
Now, since this friendship was hurting your friend, I do believe the better thing to do was to let him go. He trusted you enough to know that you would prioritize his mental health and you did. You did good by not forcing him to stay.
And while I understand that your depression and unmotivated state left you unable to do anything, these are very valid reasons. However, in life, you have to take responsibility for your actions or, in your case, inaction. Your inaction simply had consequences of losing your friend and that’s something you have to deal with because while your depression led you unable to work, his mental health cannot keep up with being your friend due to the reasons he mentioned.
I am certain that you can do better and improve yourself. You simply have to start working on your mental health issues and better yourself to do your work with discipline even if you’re unmotivated. You cannot always give every single piece your 100% even if you want to. Some days you have to draw a single line and that seems tiring enough and some days it is enough to only do that much. Consistency is key.
I am not sure if you want to apologize for being unable to be there for him during his hard time, but I think you should send him a thank you note to let him know you appreciate his presence in your life and that you will miss him and wish him good luck for the future. End it on a happier note for yourself and for him.
I hope this helps clarify a few things. Good luck and come back to us anytime.
Thank you,
The Advice Column Team
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