The Advice Column V

888

Advice Request
This person is in love with someone who's been treating them as their best friend.

Answered Submission
Hey!

That sounds like a rough situation you found yourself in. I understand how frustrating and confusing that must be with his back-and-forth behavior. Seeing that he expressed his feelings for you first, it’s obvious that he has some attraction towards you. However, seeing his later actions, it’s hard to label this attraction as ‘love’ or even ‘like’.

I also want you to keep in mind that a long distance relationship is already hard on its own with its commitment and communication; however, with a guy who has mixed/unsure feelings for you, it could be even harder. But with that said, I think you should give it a go and confess anyway because there’s nothing to lose here and it will only clear up any misconceptions you both have. If your feelings and willingness to be in a relationship are reciprocated, you can go out. If you get rejected, it may hurt, but his feelings for you will become clear. Instead of wallowing in endless overthinking about his feelings, it’s better to ask him out and find out his feelings in a straightforward manner.

Personally, I don’t think the guy is ready for a relationship right now, and that's okay. There's a possibility he might be ready for one later. You could be friends with him until he is ready for a relationship. However, this may be hard for you since you like him a lot. If you choose to remain friends with him, then tell him that you can’t wait for him forever. And there is also a possibility that, despite being friends, he just doesn’t like you back. I don’t suggest this, since it could hurt you more.

To summarize, I think you should confess and see what he expects from the relationship between you two. That is, whether he likes you or not.

Good luck! I hope everything goes well.

Thank you,
The Advice Column Team