Kakavege One-shots

Rules And Regulations

It's weird having an affair with Vegeta.

He's in love with me, even I could tell that much, but he's terrified of commitment and adultery.

Ironic isn't it?

Vegeta's usually a super strict
follow-my-rules-or-I'll-kill-you kind of guy. But his outside rules aren't actually that bad. His "outside rules" are rules that are for when we're around others.

1.)
DO NOT TELL ANYONE.

Duh. Dingus...

2.)
I can kiss him, but only when we're sure no one can see us. When I do, I can only kiss him on the lips, no where else, and no tongue.

Lost me at "no tongue".

3.)
No sharing food.

Even together he'll still fight me over this. He always gets the good stuff too...

3.)
I can't get him aroused. If I do (whether accidentally or on purpose) then one, it's my ass, and two, he alone has to go relieve himself. I can't help him.

I almost cried when he said that. OUT OF LAUGHTER GUYS I'M NOT THAT DESPERATE.

4.)
DO NOT TELL ANYONE.

This one was pretty obvious to me the first time but he felt the need to tell me a second time.

5.)
No using the same thing. It's too gay for me.

He literally said that. Word for word. This rule includes towels, cups, silverware, plates... Socks.

6.)
The most important rule. Until we are an official couple: Neither of us are in charge of the other's children and therefore have no authority over them unless completely necessary or permitted by the parent (example: the parent is dangerous to the child(ren) and needs to be separated).

This one I actually agreed with.

So yeah, his outside rules are tolerable. Some actually make sense.

But now that we've gone through his outside rules, let's get you all caught up with his inside rules. The inside rules are when we're relaxing alone together. Like at Beerus's, or watching the sunset after sparring, or sparring, or when we sleep in his room when Bulma's away on a business trip.

1.)
No shoes on his bed. I can wear them around his room, but not on the bed.

If I have dirty feet I have to wash them before bed. Blah blah blah. He has this cool stool/chair thing that spins. It's my favorite. He also has a lamp that's pretty tall for him but it's at eye level for me. It changes from white to yellow to blue to green and back to white. I like it but I don't think it's fair it doesn't have orange.

2.)
No screaming.

When he's calm he doesn't want any  loud, unnecessary noise. Don't ask me why because I don't know.

3.)
If I lay on him I have to rest my head on his chest, stomach, or crotch.

Okay he didn't agree with the crotch one but it's just better. It's more comfy.

4.)
No eating.

I actually cried on this one. Real tears. I cried for like ten minutes straight, begging him to change it. But he feels like when one of us is eating during our special moments together it takes the focus off of one another and on the food or something. I wasn't really paying attention cause I was too busy crying and muttering incoherent pleas.

Okay. Last but not least.

Bedroom rules.

No, not rules for in his bedroom.

Rules for in the bedroom.

1.)
We can only be stripped to our boxers. The sight of our.. Things.. Have to wait until we're official.

Weird but okay. And I mean okay as in ok. This also goes into the next one.

2.)
No penetration. Only dry humping and other sensual acts.

He hasn't explained this to me more than "I'm not ready".

3.)
No toys.

You're touch starved aren't you?

4.)
No dirty talk, words of encouragement are okay but not dirty talk.

I'm so gonna wreck you once we do it for real.

5.)
We can kiss anywhere and everywhere but can't leave hickeys.

On some occasions he'll let me leave light ones.

6.)
No talking afterward.

Did someone touch you when you were young? Did Freeza do this to you?

7.)
After *bedtime sparring* clean up and leave.

Once. I've gotten away with not doing this once. Partially anyway. I got to stay but I still had to clean.

So there you have it. Most of the rules that Vegeta gave me. We've been talking and he said that sometime this week he's gonna confess. Finally. We've been doing this for nearly twenty years.

I pulled this idea out my butt. It's weird I know but it's stuff for y'all to read. Hope you had fun.