• you're a warrior • { demi lovato fanfiction }

- chapter fifty seven -

• Sierra

Yes. Yes is normally a good thing but now I'm realizing that yes is just as bad no and no is just as good as yes. I've never took the time to think about it but now because of a yes I am sitting here in tears packing my stuff. I don't want to leave, I really don't.. But I don't want to be in the way of Demi's life anymore. It's not because of low self esteem but Demi needs to live and so do I and it looks like we can't do that together. We can't stand not being together and as much as that sounds good, it has it's problems. If I have to leave for us to be the best we can be then I will. Another tear dropped from my eyes onto a sweater I was holding in my hands. It was Demi's sweater she had given me when I just moved in. I had never given it back to her because it reminded me of her and I am sure not giving it back now. I clutched it to the side of my face, the fabric soaking up my relentless tears. My body shook as I held back the sobs that were threatening to fall out of my mouth. Normally, in these type of situations my first instinct would be to turn to self harm but Demi has helped me so much that I have learned to let myself feel what I feel and keep in touch with my emotions. I haven't hurt myself in so long and it's all because of Demi's help... I couldn't hold it in anymore. I fell apart before I could even try to hold myself together. I shouldn't be like this. I was the one who made Demi make the decision to send me back to the orphanage. I'll be back in abusive foster homes before I know it. This was my home and I don't want to leave. It's too late now thought. Demi's not gonna have a second thought about this. The door of my room slowly opened and I picked up my head to see Demi. Her eyes were bloodshot and her arms were crossed over chest. I looked away quickly and stared at Demi's sweater still in my hand. "My parents called and said they wanted us over for dinner before I leave for tour again. You have to come." Demi said quietly. I kept my eyes on the sweater and nodded. "Okay." I whispered. The room was heavy with tension and the silence was unbearable. The door slammed shut and I jumped at the sudden action. I took a shaky breath in and stood up. I know Demi's angry with me but I have to do this. It doesn't sound like she even wanted to put out an effort to try and convince me to stay which is the kind of thing Demi does. I am a stubborn person and I don't give in easily to things. Demi knows how I am and that's why she's given up with me. I completely understand. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together tonight but for the sake of Demi, I will. It's the least I can do. I walked into my bathroom and examined my face in the mirror. Tears tracked embedded into my skin, bloodshot eyes, and dark circles under my eyes. Absolutely perfect. I climbed into the shower hoping it would give me some relief and erase the traces of my pain. I can't drop any hints tonight or Demi will be in trouble. I know what her mom said to her when the last 'incident' happened with Melanie. I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and turned the shower off along with my thoughts. Assuming we were going somewhere fancy, I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a light peach-nude chiffon tank top, a pair of Dee Keller Scheffy Strap Heels, and my favorite Valentino jewelled satin back necklace Demi bought me for my birthday. I did some of my makeup and left my hair to dry. I did look presentable for once instead of my ripped up jeans and beat up converse. This will be the last time I see Demi's family so I need to the best I can be. I will have to hold backs the tears and force a smile, it's not like I haven't done it before.

• Demi

The whole car ride to my parent's house was quiet. Too quiet. "How long will we be there?" I glanced at Sierra who was biting her lip. It was clear she was doing her best not to cry. I wanted to cry too but this was her decision and I'm not going to stop her this time. When Sierra makes up her mind there is no way to change her mind. "We're going out to a restaurant after we get there so about four hours." I kept my eyes on the road, not daring to look at Sierra. It's hard to see Sierra in so much pain but I can't comfort her considering I'm the one who hurt her. I don't know if I care though. She blatantly said that she didn't want to be in my life so she's getting what she wants. If she doesn't really want this, she needs to speak up and soon. I pulled onto the street where my parents live and slowed down slightly so I could talk to Sierra for a minute. "Okay, so when we get there no crying, you have to smile, and act like you love me, okay?" Sierra didn't look at me but nodded her head. Sierra mumbled something that I couldn't quite pick up. "And no attitude." I added as I pulled into my parents driveway. As Sierra and I got out of my car the front door of the house flew open and my family ran over to Sierra. They attacked her with hugs and commented on how pretty she looked. How on earth am I going to explain that she's going back to the orphanage, especially my mom. Once my mom knows she gonna go ballistic. My mom pulled me into a hug and the guilt grew stronger. "Demi! Oh, I love you so much! How are you? And Sierra? Is she doing better?" I forced a small smile onto my face. "Yeah, I'm great and Sierra is doing so much better. I'm very proud of her." Yeah, that's why you're letting her away from you. The absolute best way to show someone you're proud of them. I lean against the front of my car avoiding eye contact with my mom. She can't know yet. "Demi? You alright?" I looked up and forced yet another smile upon my face. How many more times do I have to do this? "I'm great, Mom." She smiled at me but I knew she wasn't convinced. I went over to greet the rest of my family that was still, well, you might as well call it obsessing over Sierra. "Guys, guys! Goodness, give her some space."I chuckled slightly and pulled Maddie into a hug. "How are you love?" Maddie leaned her head on my shoulder and I couldn't help but think that I will miss that with Sierra. "I'm good. I missed you." I kissed the top of her head. "Me too." After we all greeted one another we decided on going to an Italian restaurant not far from the orphanage and that only made me more guilty. By the end of this night, guilt will have eaten me whole and I definitely won't be myself. "Sierra and I are going home after dinner so we'll just drive separate. I said and intertwined my hand with Sierra's. My dad nodded and gestured the rest of my family over to their car. "See you there." He said as they piled into their car. I gently tugged Sierra over to my car. No words or looks were exchanged as I began to drive us to the restaurant. I can't stand it, we need to talk. "Sierra, we need to talk so we might as well do it now." Sierra sighed and slumped against the seat. "Why not later, we're about to eat with your family and do we really want to be in a bad mood?" She shot me a look. I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel and sighed. "Fine, sorry for wanting to solve things." Sierra scoffed. "Yeah, talk me into staying. That's not solving anything." I rolled my eyes. "Well it's a start. We need each other-" Sierra cut me off. "No we don't. I'm only in the way of your life!" Tears began to form in my eyes and I gripped the steering wheel. "You've made my life a living nightmare because I love you so much. I need you." I said sharply. "That's exactly the problem! We can't be so dependent on one another!" A tear fell from my eye onto my legs. "I'll change I promise! Do you realize how much I helped you? You need me!" Sierra groaned. "There you go again making it about you! I don't need you! This isn't healthy. Gosh, I hate you!" She yelled. "What?! I-" I was cut off by a scream from Sierra as the impact of something huge hit my door. Everything went in slow motion and then it went pitch black.

•

Hellooo..
Well that was intense..
Thank you so much for reading! I'm so excited for this story now. We passed the goals in one day by a lot!!!! I read each of your comments which 98% of them were all caps.. Can't blame you. That was a though chapter. Let's see if we can do that again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I love you all!
xx

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