• you're a warrior • { demi lovato fanfiction }

- chapter twenty one -

Sierra's p.o.v 

I tossed and turned in my bed, struggling to go back to sleep. I didn't want to face Demi. She probably thought I was insane. I lied in the bed, staring out of the window. It was a sunny day with blue sky. It's a Saturday and most kids would be out playing with their friends. Going swimming, probably doing something fun. But me? I just laid in my bed for three hours straight. I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to face anything. Facing life just brings dissapointment. I didn't even have friends anymore. All my friends turned their back on me. Andrea didn't even text me anymore, and she was my only reliable friend. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table, and tapped in my password. I brought up twitter, and I noticed I had a new follower. @hadleyanderson. I was debating on blocking her or letting it be. I exhaled a breath as I tapped on her account. I saw her latest tweet and made my stomach turned into knots. "@gabarandale No problem. You and I agianst her! hahahaha jk."  I clicked to look at the conversation. 'Gabrielle' was talking about how she wanted the picture of her. I can't but help but feel 'that her' was me. A new tweet popped up from Hadley. So the plan is on  for Sie right? I struggled to breathe, as my stomach turned into more knots, if that were possible. I dropped my phone. I had to get Demi. I launched out of the room and downstairs, to be met with a very stressed looking Demi. To say stressed was the least. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes were closed, one hand was running through her hair, and she had a phone to ear. I didn't want to stress her out more. So before she could glance up, I quietly started to run back up the stairs. "Wait. Hold on a second." I heard Demi say. "Sierra? Is that you." I stood still and didn't make a sound. I didn't hear her reply, so I continued to quietly walk up the stairs. "Sierra? What's wrong?" Demi said right behind me. I cringed. There, you did it Sierra. You keep people from doing the things they need to do. "Nothing." I said. "Hey, come here baby." She wrapped an arm around my waist. I sighed as I rested a head on shoulder. We got into my room and we both sat on the bed. "Okay. So.. I can't let you live this way. I've tried to help you. But I can't. I've noticed I've been holding you back from recovering.." She said trailing off. "I keep saying that you couldn't handle a therapist or treatment." My eyes widened at the mention of treatment. "You have one week to prove you can recover, or I'm going to send you to treatment or a therapist." She finished, with sympathy in her eyes. I shook my head, as I digested everything she said. I was in shock and couldn't think straight. "I-I.." I fell into a daze of all the horrible things they'd do to me at treatment, or how much prying a therapist would do. I hated being pressured into talking. Or anything. I went to a therapist for a while when I was in the orphanage. Bree knew about the stuff I suffered with. She tried to help, but she realized how deep I was so she decided to send me to a therapist. And let me tell you this. It didn't work out well. 

- Flashback - 

I sat on the soft chair, as Miss Katerina sat down on the other chair. Also known as Kat. She pulled out her notebook, and gave a small smile. "So. How was school today?" She asked, as she looked at me. I didn't dare look back though. "Good." I murmurred. "Okay. After school what did you do?" She asked. She asked many questions, and I answered them. Until we got one question. "This is might be uncomfortable for you, but just relax and you'll be fine." She said. I immeadiately tensed up. She must've noticed, so she put a hand on my shoulder. I flinched and scooted out of her reach. She bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows, and then wrote something down in her notebook. "So..I understand you're dealing with self harm?" Silence filled the room. "You don't need to keep your walls up around me." I almost scoffed at her. I have to build my walls up around everyone. What makes you think I can trust you? I said in my head. "So when did you start?" She asked. I didn't move, nor speak. "When did you start?" She repeated. She sighed as she gently turned my head to her. I quickly turned my head. "Sierra, when did you start?" She asked for the third time, enunciating each word. I started to feel my anxiety grow. I couldn't pay attention to her words, I knew she was saying the same words though. I felt as if the anxiety was swallowing me. I couldn't pay attention to anything. The anxiety just drove me insane. Therapists are supposed to help, not trigger anxiety attacks. "STOP!" I screamed, as I dug my nails into my head. The pain was finally put to rest, as I could feel my body start to relax. She was left speechless, and started to try to remove my hands. I stood up as I began to back away from her. "Don't touch me." I repeated several times.